Walcoff: Prepare for a year of more craziness in the sports world

Break out the 2010 calendar for predictions you never saw coming.

January
His golf game may be on hold, but Tiger Woods comes out swinging with a guest appearance on “Late Show with David Letterman” comparing photos of their top 10 girlfriends.

February
As players report to spring training, the St. Louis Cardinals’ new hitting coach, Mark McGwire, finally holds a news conference to acknowledge what drove him to use steroids: Jose Canseco’s constant reminders that “chicks dig guys with big pecs.”

March
The NCAA accepts Bob Knight’s plan to expand their college basketball tournament to 128 schools because March Madness isn’t exciting enough without 63 more Cinderella teams.

April
With the seventh overall pick in the NFL draft, the Raiders select: Jon Gruden.

May
After beating a federal perjury rap, Barry Bonds returns to baseball by signing with … the Dodgers. The exiled home run king cites the easy commute from his Beverly Hills home, a kinship with fellow scandalized slugger Manny Ramirez and a burning desire to show San Francisco how wrong they were to give up on their not-so-gentle Giant.

June
The start of the World Cup in South Africa is marred by thousands of Irish protesters still upset over a blown call in a qualifying match against France that cost Ireland a berth in the tournament. Hoping to avoid further problems, FIFA agrees to replay all European League soccer games involving the Irish dating back to 1998.

July
Fresh from his surprise appearance on “America’s Biggest Loser,” JaMarcus Russell shows up at Raiders training camp in Napa weighing a svelte 230 pounds.

August
Desperate for a new stadium in San Jose, A’s owner Lew Wolff offers the Giants his entire 25-man roster in exchange for territorial rights to the Bay Area’s largest city.

September
With the opening of NBA training camps just days away, the Warriors introduce the Aloha Don Nelson ticket plan: Buy four courtside seats to any game and you can join Nellie on yet another golf, poker, whiskey and cigar retirement party in Maui.

October
After a series of blown calls cost the Yankees another World Series, triggering riots in the Bronx, Commissioner Bud Selig does an about-face and endorses instant replay.

November
Tired of fighting with Brad Childress over play-calling, Brett Favre smashes his coach-to-quarterback helmet headset and tells the Vikings he now wants to be the league’s first player-head coach and offensive coordinator.

December
The NFL moves to quiet fan outrage over the benching of Peyton Manning in Week 16 of yet another potentially perfect regular season for the Colts. Roger Goodell requires all teams that have clinched home-field advantage throughout the playoffs to play their starters 60 minutes of every game.

KGO (810 AM) Sports Director Rich Walcoff can be heard weekdays from 5 to 9 a.m. on the KGO morning news and is also the co-host of “Raiders Gameday” and “Recap” talk shows on KSFO (560 AM). He can be reached at RichWalcoff@gmail.com.

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