While pondering what sort of phony theatrics Curt Schilling has in mind for Game 2 of the Fall Classic, let’s stick and move a little …
TRIM THE FAT: If the World Series goes to a seventh game, it’ll be played on Nov 1.
Or Nov. 2. Or Nov. 3. Or Nov. 7.
It’s been snowing in Colorado this week, you know. And New England isn’t exactly balmy this time of year. So postponements aren’t just possible. They’re likely.
Baseball’s playoffs are interfering with our pre-Halloween parties, for crying out loud. So what can be done to right this wrong?
Easy. Go back to a 154-game season and schedule a minimum of 10 doubleheaders for each club. That would get the playoffs started two weeks earlier and get them finished by Oct. 15.
Are we really ready for Kaz Matsui or Kevin Youkilis to be nicknamed Mr. November? Didn’t think so.
BYRD BRAIN: Cleveland Indians pitcher Paul Byrd, the latest bustee of baseball’s Chemistry Era, says he was doping to counter a rare glandular problem that, according to medical sources, affects one in about 8,500 people.
Interesting. Byrd isn’t the first big-league player caught in the HGH web to claim this glandular problem, and there are only 750 roster spots in The Show. Sounds like an epidemic. Must be something dangerous in the steroids these guys are taking.
MANNYGATE: The amount of heat Manny Ramirez got for saying it wouldn’t be the end of the world if the Boston Red Sox lost to the Indians was ridiculous, and so was the heat he got for posing after his Game 4 homer.
In the case of the former, what’s wrong with a little perspective? In the case of the latter, what’s wrong with putting David Ortiz on his ass with a fastball immediately after Manny crosses home plate? Do that and Big Papi will make sure Manny tones it down.
END OF THE LINE: The New York Yankees will miss the playoffs next year. They guaranteed themselves of that when they dogged Joe Torre, who’s only the classiest manager of his time.
The dominos should fall — and fast. Alex Rodriguez? Jorge Posada? Mariano Rivera? If they stay after this, they lose all credibility. You can’t profess your undying devotion to a man, then stay with the team that clowned him.
And good for Torre for recognizing that he was being clowned. This wasn’t about money. It was about respect, and after all he’s done for that team and city, the Yankees showed him absolutely zero.
Mychael Urban is the author of “Aces: The Last Season On The Mound With The Oakland A’s Big Three — Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder and Barry Zito” and a writer for MLB.com. He also hosts the weekend edition of “Sportsphone 680” on KNBR (680 AM).