How come …
» How come the University of Miami’s radio network is more committed to discipline than the university itself? The radio guys fire former ’Cane Lamar Thomas for saying he wished he could be down there assaulting opposing players, while the university slaps the wrists of its embarrassing band of thugs with mere one-game suspensions for actually assaulting opposing players. How come?
» How come Dennis Green was so intent on proving he knew who his opponents were last week? Did someone question his knowledge of that fact?
» How come Jim Leyland took so much heat for not putting Albert Pujols on first base in the third inning of Game 1 of the World Series Saturday night, allowing Pujols to hit the two-run blast that took all the wind out of the home team’s sails? Perhaps Leyland remembered that Justin Verlander effectively handcuffed the likes of Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez, Gary Sheffield, Bobby Abreu, and Jason Giambi for 5-plus innings in his postseason start in the American League Division Series and actually had a little faith that he could handle Pujols, too. After all, the guy has managed a game or two before.
» How come everybody’s making fun of Mike Tyson’s world tour of exhibition fights? Here’s a guy who is millions of dollars in debt and who could choose to sit on his butt under the blanket protection of bankruptcy, but who would rather embarrass himself fighting in bingo halls around the country to try and pay some of the bills he owes. Fighting (or pretending to fight, in this case) is the only marketable skill the guy possesses. Howcome we can’t tip our hat to him for trying?
» How come Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald didn’t go into the Michigan State locker room, grab John L. Smith’s hand and slap himself with it after his team blew a 38-3 lead against the Spartans Saturday? After all, Smith set the bar when he smacked himself during a post-game press conference, a week after blowing a 37-21 fourth quarter lead against Notre Dame.
» How come the Raiders didn’t try to get something of value for Jerry Porter before the trade deadline? A middle-round pick, a backup offensive lineman, new tennis balls for the feet of Al Davis’ walker …something?
» How come Ohio State and Michigan can’t play a rematch of their season-ending showdown … in the National Championship game? With apologies to a soft USC team, the Buckeyes and Wolverines are the best two teams in the country. And if their game in Columbus is close, there should be a second showdown at the Fiesta Bowl.
» How come the Atlanta Falcons don’t switch Michael Vick and Warrick Dunn? Vick’s as good a runner as Dunn is. And Dunn couldn’t possibly be a worse passer than Vick is.
How come Indiana’s Stephen Jackson wasn’t charged with attempted murder, as was former Northern Colorado punter Mitch Cozad, who stabbed the starting punter in the leg? After all, bullets fired in the air eventually come down, don’t they?
Sports personality Bob Frantz is a regular contributor to The Examiner. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.