Some alleged experts promised instant improvement for the Santa Clara offense with Colin Kaepernick at the controls on Sunday. A few dim bulbs even called him a perfect fit for coach Chip Kelly’s spread offense and predicted big things ahead.
You know, as if Kelly had sprinkled magic quarterback dust on the guy or something.
What the Faithless got instead was a Buffalo stampede, a 45-16 embarrassment that was worse than the numbers indicated in some respects.
Just goes to show you that the Niners can suck with Kaepernick behind center just as much as they can with Blame Gabbert.
This was the same quarterback that we saw last season and the one before that. Kaepernick didn’t pay attention to anyone except the primary target. He was quick to scramble out of the pocket when the guy wasn’t open. When he did throw, the ball was all over the place and too often into a crowd.
Kaepernick completed 13 of 29 pass attempts for 187 yards. Fifty-three yards came on one play, a underthrown deep ball to lonesome Torrey Smith that went for a touchdown only because no defender was in the same county. He passed for all of 134 yards on the other 31 drop-backs. As usual, he did his best work with his legs.
One more time, kids: Kaepernick throws harder and runs faster, while Gabbert is more decisive and less prone to negative plays. Overall, there’s not a whole lot of difference between them.
Until the offense runs the ball and the defense stops the run consistently, it won’t matter which part of Gabbernick is on the field.
COMEDY CENTRAL: The most entertaining part of the game came afterward, when local television analysts tried to make excuses for the quarterback play.
Ex-49er Ricky Watters actually used “Kaepernick” and “great” in the same sentence.
“I don’t find any fault with anything he did,” he went on to say.
Huh? The offense scored one touchdown against an above-average defense and everyone except the quarterback was to blame for it? Really?
When Balls becomes commissioner, media will be subject to concussion protocol.
STINKY POOH: Since Week 1, Jim O’Neil’s defense has been lit up for 430.8 yards and 37.0 points per game.
Yep, you can take the Brown out of Cleveland, but you can’t take the brown out of his game plan.
THE UNREAL MCCOY: Know what makes it even harder on a defense? When its head coach alienates so many opponents such as Bills star back LeSean McCoy that they want to burn him but good.
McCoy ran wild for 140 yards and three TDs and didn’t bother to shake Kelly’s hand when he was done.
Not bad for a guy who was run out of Philadelphia by his coach for no good reason.
BETTER IDEA: McCoy wants no part of Kaepernick’s national anthem boycott. In fact, he has invited several local police to a future Bills game, because as he puts it, “What’s going on is definitely wrong.”
“There’s good cops and there’s bad cops,” McCoy reasoned.
Just like they’re are good quarterbacks and bad, selfish, overpaid ones.
REID IT AND WEEP: Eric Reid is no stranger to this space, and as long as the safety continues to run around the field like his brains are scrambled and pants are on the fire, he’ll be a regular contributor.
Among other things, Reid was beaten on a deep curl for a touchdown and blew a sack opportunity when he wimped out on a tackle attempt.
Gimme an “S”! Gimme an “O”! Gimme an “F”! Gimme a “T”!
All together now — “Saaaaahhhhffftt!”