Niners’ crazy train is off the tracks

Hide the coaches and executives. Shield the PSL sellers and ballboys. Idiot owner Jed (Scarface) York is at it again.
On Friday, team president Paraag Marathe became the latest scapegoat on the 49ers’ crazy train, and the Faithful (yeah, all five of you) can only wonder where and when the purge ever will end.

First, coach Jim Harbaugh was bumped off. Then quarterback Colin Kaepernick took the plunge. Now Marathe has taken one for Team York.
(Warning to general manager Trent Baalke: Don’t turn your back, buddy, because you may be next.)

The demotion of Marathe after 15 seasons in the organization was no small move. He was a York confidant not long ago and will continue to assist in other family business matters, we’re told. That his pink slip came less than two years after after his bump upstairs reminded us just how short-sighted York was as a NFL team owner, not that we already didn’t see it on the field this season.

If York hires a qualified football person to be his right-hand man — Steve Young, anyone? — this can turn out to be a positive. But does anyone believe he’s capable of even one bright move? In his mind, he’ll forever be an unqualified success. After all, he did the near-impossible around these parts — contrived a way for a $1.3 billion stadium to built mostly with public money — and the value of the franchise skyrocketed as a result.
At this rate, though, York will have an almost new Levi’s Stadium and nobody to fill it before long. Pure and simple, there is zero reason to commute to Santa Clara and pay ridiculous amounts to watch lousy football. By this time next season, the place figures to be half empty, and the biggest embarrassment in professional team sports will have an larger image problem on it hands.

Then again, as long as the Taylor Swifts and Kenny Chesneys come to town, maybe Jed York just doesn’t give a damn about his dumb old football team.

WHERE WAS LARRY, BARRY? In his introduction as batting coach for the Miami Marlins, Barry Bonds said the offer was the “only opportunity” presented to him in Major League Baseball. Which begs a question: What happened to the presumed role that Giants CEO Larry Baer repeatedly said he had for Bonds?

Mysteriously, Baer now says that he and Bonds simply couldn’t come up with a dual fit and wished the asterisked home-run champion well in South Florida. Translated, it means the Giants are pleased not to deal with the ongoing public-relations mess any longer. Marlins owner Jeff Loria, who came up with the Bonds idea and has enjoyed a friendship with the disgraced slugger, will have to live with the fallout.
“I know some people are going to be upset, some people are going to be happy,” Bonds said of his return to game he sullied. “The only way I’m going to find out is if I try. I’m going to try it and see, and hopefully I’m really good at it.”
And if he knows of a good PED shop in Coral Gables, he should keep it to himself.

GO FIGURE: To understand how ridiculous it has gotten at 4900 Marie P. DeBartolo Way, consider that metrics trumped common sense in the decision to punt the ball late in the loss against the Seattle Seahawks two weeks ago. The Niners trailed 29-13 at the time.
“Statistical information and the analytics right there, yes,” coach Jim Tomsula revealed. “It was backed up. And every decision that we make, I find out [the probabilities]. … (Tight ends coach) Tony’s [Sparano] involved with me as we study those, and then Hamp [analytics director Brian Hampton] comes down. We go through those every week.”


BEARS VIC(TORY) ON THE WAY: Today the Niners are in Chicago, where they will face an overachieving Bears defense that has jumped from 30th to 14th in one season.

That would be the one run by coordinator Vic Fangio, another guy who was chased out of Santa Clara for no good reason. It would have made a lot of sense for the Niners to hire Fangio as their head coach last winter if only York and company had any. He was the brains of their defense for four seasons, and it among the top five in fewest yards allowed in every one of them. The run included three trips to the NFC Championship Game and one Super Bowl appearance.

“A really good football coach,” Tomsula called Fangio earlier this week. “Obviously, we all had a great run during that time. … That was good. So I don’t have anything but fond feelings and that was really good stuff. It was a very good thing.”

Yeah, it turned out to be a very good thing if you were Tomsula, who got the job that he never deserved.

THE LIST: Balls’ picks against the spread in Week 13 of the NFL season:

  • Arizona Cardinals (-5 1/2) at St. Louis Rams: Two-word explanation: Nick Foles.

Cincinnati Bengals (-6 1/2) at Cleveland Browns. According to Balls’ power rankings, the Browns are the fourth-best team in Ohio behind the

  • Bengals, Ohio State and Toledo.
  • 49ers at Chicago Bears (-6 1/2): Think Vic Fangio and his defense would like to pitch a shutout here?
  • Indianapolis Colts at Pittsburgh Steelers (-6): This assumes that Ben Roethlisberger plays without a scrambled brain.
  • Philadelphia Eagles at New England Patriots (-13): The Patriots haven’t lost two consecutive games in three years. Coach Bill Belichick hasn’t seen a score that the couldn’t run up ever.
  • Last week: 3-2. Season: 37-23 (.617).


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