It’s Jan. 2, which means it’s highly likely that 20 to 25 percent of all New Year’s resolutions made prior to midnight Tuesday have been broken.
By next Tuesday, the number will be in the 60 to 75 percent neighborhood. At some point, the number hits 95 percent or so.
It’s just what we do. Nobody’s sure why. And we know we do it, which makes our insistence on making resolutions all the more baffling.
To wit, certain Giants fans always resolve to be kinder, gentler and more appreciative of Brian Sabean’s generally solid work.
Then, at the mere mention of Barry Zito, resolution blown.
A 49ers fan might resolve to fight “the man,” i.e., the corporationization of the NFL, and refrain from purchasing seats at swanky Levi’s Stadium.
Then they peek online and see a couple of end-zone nose-bleeds for that 2014 opener and somehow rationalize dropping a mortgage payment on them.
“Honey, seriously, it’ll be worth it! Besides, I’m selling my Montana jersey on eBay to pay for them.”
Oh, and how about the sports fans who insist they will do less watching and more playing this year? They even check out the local rec center’s brochures to explore the various softball and basketball leagues.
Two days later, while knocking off the rust while trying to knock down a few jumpers, pop goes the hamstring.
Two hours after that, pop goes the top on a Keystone Light tall boy, with five more chilling in the fridge to ensure nobody goes thirsty while “the boys” pretend to give a damn about the New Orleans Pelicans-Atlanta Hawks game on TNT.
Raiders fans engage in the exercise in futility that is making New Year’s resolutions as well — or as poorly, depending on your perspective — as anyone.
They don’t so much make resolutions, though, as they do make vows to cease thinking with their Silver and Black hearts.
Thus, they’re genuinely stunned and emotionally devastated when Darren McFadden limps off the field for the 137th time in three seasons.
A’s fans aren’t immune, either. This is always the year everyone is safe. This is the year nobody gets traded. This is the year that stability takes hold and makes it absolutely OK to buy your favorite player’s jersey.
Um, no. Not really, gang. More plausible is that this is the year you defiantly pull your Josh Reddick No. 16 jersey on just before leaving the house for that mid-July day game against the Rays.
Josh, of course, is wearing No. 18 for Tampa Bay. And not even in the starting lineup.
Me? This is the year I buckle down and really educate myself about hockey.
The Sharks deserve that. They’ve been the most consistently successful winners on the Bay Area pro landscape over the past 15 years, and it’s high time I give them the respect of knowing the names of more than three or four stars and being able to hold forth on their penalty kill.
Uh-huh. Talk to you in March. About Jumbo Joe and Patty and very little else until someone mentions the Detroit Red Wings. Love that Scotty Bowman guy. He still coaching?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a gym to join. Happy New Year.
Mychael Urban has covered Bay Area sports for more than 22 years as a contributor to Comcast SportsNet, CSNBayArea.com, KNBR, MLB.com, ESPN The Magazine and various newspapers.49ersA'sGiantsMychael Urban