A little of this, and a lot of that …
» All due respect and admiration to Brett Favre for breaking the NFL’s career touchdown pass record … but does anyone else have a problem with that whole “second-most interceptions of all time” thing? Dan Marino was able to successfully hand the crown to Favre as the new TD king, but when Brett has to pass the torch to Peyton Manning in a few years, there’s a pretty good chance it’ll be picked off.
» New York Knicks’ coach Isiah Thomas was convicted last week of sexually harassing a top female executive in the Knicks’ organization and his bosses were ordered to pay $11.6 million in damages to the victim. Rather than assess a financial penalty to Thomas personally, the jury sentenced him to two Karl Malone elbows and 80 consecutive stitches.
» When the director of the LeBron James “Read to Achieve” PSA sketch on Saturday Night Live last week started the action by saying, “Let’s shoot this puppy!” — did he think Michael Vick was hosting?
» James was involved in a minor flap this week when he wore a Yankees cap to Jacobs Field in Cleveland and told a national TV audience that he was rooting against his hometown Indians. James went on to explain that he has always rooted for winners, being a Cowboys, Bulls, and Yankees fan while growing up. Staying true to form, the Cavaliers’ star will now begin wearing San Antonio Spurs caps on allroad trips.
» Speaking of Michael Vick, the disgraced Atlanta Falcons QB voluntarily attended a PETA course last week on the subject of respect for animals as he awaits his December sentencing on several dogfighting convictions. “Honest, your honor! I love me some animals! See?”
» More Vick: His PETA enlightenment came just one week after testing positive for marijuana, a violation of the quarterback’s bail conditions and a negative strike against him in the eyes of the judge who will decide his fate. Asked to explain his bizarre behavior: “Look, man, I can’t play football no more, and I ain’t got any dogs left to play with, so I thought I’d sit back and get toasted. Niiiiicely toasted.”
» Trying to find a way to weaken their strongest opponent as they defend their Super Bowl championship, the Indianapolis Colts have offered the New England Patriots’ head coaching job to Norv Turner.
» New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner said on Saturday that umpires should have suspended Game 2 of the Yankees’ series with the Cleveland Indians due to the swarm of bugs that tormented reliever Joba Chamberlain, who threw two wild pitches that helped the Indians tie the game in the eighth inning. Cleveland fans say the bugs didn’t bother the Indians’ players because flies only land on s***.
» Notre Dame fans are crowing this morning after the Frightening Irish recorded their first win of the season, a 20-6 root canal over UCLA. Irish coach Charlie Weiss provided all the extra motivation his players needed when he told them that if they didn’t win this week, he would eat them.
» Notre Shame fans have spent most of the fall making excuses for their team’s pathetic play, claiming that the school’s tough academic standards make it harder to recruit the top talent in the nation. They may have a point, since most of their recruits can actually look at the letters “SAT” at the top of their college entrance exams without writing, “what I did when I was done standing” after it.
» And finally, after stockpiling money to reward his personal trainer for staying in prison rather than ratting him out for his steroid usage, is Barry Bonds going to have enough cash left to pay off fellow Balco-nian Marion Jones, too? Just asking, is all.
Sports personality Bob Frantz is a regular contributor to The Examiner. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.