Move over, Woodward and Bernstein. These days, all the best scoops come from WetButt23 and KatyPerrysBootyHole.
Allow me to explain …
On Thursday, the Chicago Cubs traded for Chicago White Sox pitcher Jose Quintana. It’s a fine deal that gave the reigning World Series champions a frontline starter to bolster an old and underperforming starting rotation.
But that’s not what made this story unique.
What made the deal noteworthy was that no reporter leaked it being a possibility before it was announced by the teams. That rarely happens in the age of team employees being one text away from exciting their fanbases.
Journalists did what they do when faced with this scenario: Complain on Twitter.
Then, like a beacon of sunlight on a foggy day, came a revelation that there was, in fact, some foreshadowing of the transaction.
On the r/WhiteSox sub-Reddit — a fan-driven message board on the site created by the father of Serena Williams’ unborn child — a user who goes by the screenname KatyPerrysBootyHole posted, “Hey guys, take this with a grain of salt, but I heard from a friend who’s brothers friend works for the cubs (sounds like bullshit I know), that Q is going to the cubs in exchange for 4 players. Has anyone heard anything similar?”
BootyHole was backed up by someone posting under the handle WetButt23, who wrote, “4 prospects. No pros. Players were meeting with doctors and will be official tonight or tomorrow.”
That exchange happened on Wednesday.
BootyHole acknowledged that Butt23 was the source of the original report in a subsequent comment. (So, to correct an earlier metaphor: That makes BootyHole both Woodward and Bernstein; Butt23 is Deep Throat.)
Before the world knew about BootyHole and Butt23, CSN Chicago’s JJ Stankevitz wrote a column about how strange it was that no one had pre-empted the news of the trade.
To his credit, Stankevitz posted the most perfect correction in the history of journalism: “While no national media had this story, a Reddit user named “wetbutt23” had it last night. CSNChicago.com apologizes to wetbutt23 for the error.”
We can only hope to learn WetButt23’s real identity so he can be celebrated as the hero he is.
Contact Examiner Sports Editor Jacob C. Palmer at email@example.com or on Twitter, @jacobc_palmer.