Camp Kelly sounds like more of the same ol’ same old

Colin Kaepernick and Blaine Gabbert are the 49ers' quarterbacks, which means they have an unsettled position battle. (Jeff Chiu/AP)

Are you ready for some football? Ready for some 49ers football?

Yeah, count Balls out, too.

The Chip Kelly era opens with offseason workouts in Santa Clara this week, and the more the new ball coach opens his mouth, the more he already sounds like Jim Tomsula without a mustache.

Here’s Kelly on quarterback Colin Kaepernick: “Works his butt off in rehab, great with the coaches, learning the offense quickly, I like him a lot.”

See what Balls means?

Fact is, no matter how Kelly spins it, we know his is a bad football team. That’s why it ranks 32nd in a 32-team league, to hear a lot of experts tell it.

Yet the only thing worse than a last-place team is one with an unsettled quarterback situation.

General manager Trent Baalke had months to address the most urgent need on the team, but Clueless Trent refused to budge on his trade demands and played a pat hand in the draft. So while the Niners are stuck with Kaepernick and Blaine Gabbert again, the Los Angeles Rams and Philadelphia Eagles have hope for the future with first-rounders Jared Goff and Carson Wentz around.

Now Kelly says either Gabbert or Kaepernick will win the job “organically,” which means without the assistance of fertilizers, growth stimulants, antibiotics or pesticides, presumably. Bet Niners fans can’t wait for that battle to take place.

NBA REFS ARE SORRY: The NBA’s so-called Two Minute Report on referees is the worst idea since the Chris Paul-to-the-Los Angeles Lakers trade was voided years ago.

First, the procedure furthers the widely held notion that games are decided in the final two minutes, a message that the league should want no part of. And unless a referee can be reprimanded for a blown call(s), any admission of guilt is meaningless and unnecessary.

“I feel like it throws them under the bus,” the Warriors’ Steve Kerr said after the Oklahoma City Thunder’s Russell Westbrook slid from Oakland to Sausalito without a travel call the other night. “They have an impossible job. They really do …”

Kerr has a point here. Referees have become so gun-shy because of video replay that some would just as soon swallow their whistles rather than risk an incorrect call. The inept ones don’t deserve to be thrown under the bus but put on the next one out of town.

THANKS BUT NO TANKS: While the NBA is at it, it also can fix the draft lottery. Because to reward chronic tankers like the Philadelphia 76ers is a travesty, not to mention a hocker in the face of the fans who actually pay to watch them.

The simple solution: Reverse the process. In other words, give the first team out of the playoffs the best chance to land the No. 1 pick, while the one with the worst record gets the longest odds. That way the have-nots are rewarded for winning games, not losing them. Imagine that.

JUST SAYIN’: If Major League Baseball really abhors fights on the field, then it will do like the NBA and fine and suspend any player who leaves the bench …

Or else it can offer a bonus to anyone who dukes it out, because the recent Jose Bautista-Rougned Odor slugfest has everyone talkin’ about baseball for a change.

The Oakland Mausoleum would be a better place if Trayce Thompson played for the Athletics there while his brother Klay played across the concourse.

Even worse, the other Thompson plays for the dastardly Los Angeles Dodgers. Next to Palo Alto’s own Joc Pederson in the same outfield, no less.

That Jarryd Hayne would chuck a potential NFL career to try out for the Rio Olympics tells you what he thinks of the Niners and them of him.

If the Sharks don’t hoist the Stanley Cup, then they at least deserve a trophy for the best playoff beards.

Got an opinion? A gripe? A compliment? A compliment?! Send them to pladd@aol.com, and who knows, you may get your name in the paper before long.

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