I’M WITH DONALD
Watching golf hasn’t been the same since Tiger Woods relinquished his spot atop the sport. But for fans who find themselves apathetic ahead of the Masters this weekend, Republican frontrunner for president Donald Trump has given you a reason to care again: To root against Jim Herman. The fascist presidential hopeful spoke fondly of Herman to the Associated Press on Monday, when he joked(?) that Herman would make a good cabinet member. “That’s a character — the kind of character — you want,” Trump said. “Somebody who can handle the pressure.”
DEFINITELY A RAIDER
The Oakland Raiders, determined to build the most fearsome pass rush in the NFL, agreed with Aldon Smith on Monday to a two-year deal. The former 49er’s suspension for violating the league’s substance abuse policy ends Nov. 17. Smith’s days as the young, promising defensive end are gone, but he’ll still be a handful for strained offensive lines trying to contain Khalil Mack and Bruce Irvin.
Oakland ace Sonny Gray was scratched from his start on Monday due to food poisoning. When asked if he knew which eatery poisoned his pitcher, manager Bob Melvin took the diplomatic route: “I do and I’m not going there right now,” he said. “… I would like to be welcomed in certain restaurants too — from time to time. So, I’ll stay away from that.” Caring about how restaurateurs perceive you? Melvin is clearly not a Yelper.
DON’T ROB CHARITIES
The City’s Make-a-Wish office was ransacked over the weekend when thieves made away with a scooter donated by Giants outfielder Hunter Pence, among other items. Proving that humans always find a way to ruin every uplifting story, a foundation spokeswoman told the AP the energetic Fuller House actor donated the scooter “because he wanted to say thanks to Batkid for making the streets of San Francisco safer.”