Nobody realized how bad — or how quickly — America would begin to crumble under President Donald. (Olivier Douliery/Abaca Press/TNS)

Nobody realized how bad — or how quickly — America would begin to crumble under President Donald. (Olivier Douliery/Abaca Press/TNS)

You royally screwed the pooch this time, America

There’s a phrase I love that perfectly encapsulates our current moment. When someone has made an embarrassing mistake, like on an epic level, we say they “screwed the pooch.”

Used in a sentence, it goes like this: “Oh man, Stuart really screwed the pooch this time!”

Back in the day, it was used a lot at NASA and later became popular due to Tom Wolfe’s “The Right Stuff,” according to It’s a variation of an older, much more crass version of the saying, which I’m pretty sure my editors won’t allow me to publish. (You can figure out what that it is.)

Regardless, America has really, truly, horrifically, unforgivably screwed the pooch. Those who didn’t vote for Donald — I’m no longer using his last name because it’s a brand that inspires awe in his gullible followers — knew it would be bad. He’s a petulant and vindictive orange child who hates the word “no.” But I don’t think any of us realized it would be this bad — or at least not this quickly.

While I, by no means, consider myself a conspiracy theorist, I read an article a few days ago that truly frightened me. Published on Medium by Yonatan Zunger, “Trial Balloon for a Coup” cleverly analyzes all of the things that Donald and his heartless bastards have done so far and terrifyingly postulates that Donald, Steve Bannon and their tight inner circle may be trying to arrange a coup against the United States.

Let that sink in …

By maintaining their own security team, creating their own intelligence community and signing questionable constitutional executive orders, this cabal is seeing how far it can push things and who in the government might try to stop them. So far, it doesn’t seem like anyone will, especially since the Republicans are so excited to have their guy in the White House that very few of them are standing up or speaking out.

Look, I know all this sounds crazy and like it could never happen, but how many times did we say that about Donald since he announced his candidacy? We thought: “He can’t really say that about Mexicans and win.” “Talking about rounding up Muslims is insane.” “Being caught, on record, bragging about sexual assault is political suicide.”

But we were wrong over and over again.

There’s an article from The Daily Beast in which the author, Ronald Radosh, relays a conversation with Bannon. Bannon reportedly identified himself as a Leninist and said, “Lenin wanted to destroy the state, and that’s my goal, too. I want to bring everything crashing down and destroy all of today’s establishment.”

This is the man who Donald just made one of the most powerful people in the world by appointing him to the National Security Council, while demoting the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the director of national intelligence.

I’m obviously not the only person who’s worried. An article by Jack Moore in GQ, just published this week, is titled, “In Case It Wasn’t Clear Yet, Steve Bannon Is Our President.” In it, Moore explains how Bannon is “making far-reaching and unprecedented decisions in this White House and is undermining the basic checks and balances that you learned about in junior-high civics class.” Bannon is one of the leading voices of the alt-right, an unabashed anti-Semite and has declared that the media is his enemy. Are you scared yet?

So, yes, you royally screwed the pooch this time, America. Let’s just hope we still have a country by the time this article goes to print.

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, TV host and poet. Follow him at Broke-Ass City runs Thursdays in the San Francisco Examiner.

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