Elaborate schemes elude many lawbreakers, whose escapades do not rise to that of international whodunits.
Son of a gun!
A Sacramento man allegedly brought a loaded .45-caliber handgun through the security checkpoint of a San Mateo County courthouse July 12 — while en route to a child custody hearing.
Holy cheeseburger, Batman!
The Caped Crusader went from crime fighter to Hamburglar after a man wearing a Batman mask robbed a McDonald’s restaurant in Belmont. Instead of the Batmobile, the “World’s Greatest Detective” fled the area in a Honda.
A man stood in the driveway of a San Francisco fire station and purposely blocked firefighters’ path as they were rushing out to a serious car accident. He stuck his middle finger out toward the rescue crew before being arrested.
Stealing a winning lottery ticket did not make two South San Francisco crooks lucky. The alleged serial robbers nabbed lottery tickets during a heist, but were caught after surveillance footage at a store showed one of them trying to cash in his winnings.
A grumbling gambler accused of losing all his money at a Colma casino tried to rob a woman that had won big. The woman fought him off and kept her money, while the unlucky crook wrecked his mom’s car during the crime.
Not a milk mustache
Police said a none-too-sneaky sniffer had a cocaine mustache under his nose as he sat in the driver’s seat of his car near Polk and Hemlock streets. Sorry about that, the driver told the officer.
Pepper with your meal?
A transient living near a creek in San Carlos pepper-sprayed employees at a Carl’s Jr. restaurant because he thought they were poisoning his food. He then ran out of the store and shouted “run” to a pedestrian before spraying him with the repellent.
A burglar forgot to drink his coffee the morning before a heist. Police caught Michael Taylor, 51, napping in the bed of an East Palo Alto home he was allegedly burglarizing. He reportedly pillaged the living room and rummaged through the liquor cabinet before falling asleep in an upstairs bedroom.
No clean getaway
An alleged thieving ex-janitor messed up when he failed to conceal his identity while reportedly holding up the Shell gas stations where he used to work. According to police, security cameras caught him robbing one gas station twice. The man reportedly complained to the clerk that he did not take enough money during the first visit.
A man who was ripped off while trying to buy marijuana from a dealer at an Inner Richmond district bar got his revenge. He tracked down cops and accused the dealer trying of threaten him with a gun in the bar, forcing a weapons search. No gun was found, but the dealer was slapped with narcotics violations.