The dumbest criminals of 2010

Elaborate schemes elude many lawbreakers, whose escapades do not rise to that of international whodunits.

Son of a gun!
A Sacramento man allegedly brought a loaded .45-caliber handgun through the security checkpoint of a San Mateo County courthouse July 12 — while en route to a child custody hearing.

Holy cheeseburger, Batman!
The Caped Crusader went from crime fighter to Hamburglar after a man wearing a Batman mask robbed a McDonald’s restaurant in Belmont. Instead of the Batmobile, the “World’s Greatest Detective” fled the area in a Honda.

Surly scoundrel
A man stood in the driveway of a San Francisco fire station and purposely blocked firefighters’ path as they were rushing out to a serious car accident. He stuck his middle finger out toward the rescue crew before being arrested.

Thug lottery
Stealing a winning lottery ticket did not make two South San Francisco crooks lucky. The alleged serial robbers nabbed lottery tickets during a heist, but were caught after surveillance footage at a store showed one of them trying to cash in his winnings.

Dumb luck
A grumbling gambler accused of losing all his money at a Colma casino tried to rob a woman that had won big. The woman fought him off and kept her money, while the unlucky crook wrecked his mom’s car during the crime.

Not a milk mustache
Police said a none-too-sneaky sniffer had a cocaine mustache under his nose as he sat in the driver’s seat of his car near Polk and Hemlock streets. Sorry about that, the driver told the officer.

Pepper with your meal?
A transient living near a creek in San Carlos pepper-sprayed employees at a Carl’s Jr. restaurant because he thought they were poisoning his food. He then ran out of the store and shouted “run” to a pedestrian before spraying him with the repellent.

Crooked Goldilocks
A burglar forgot to drink his coffee the morning before a heist. Police caught Michael Taylor, 51, napping in the bed of an East Palo Alto home he was allegedly burglarizing. He reportedly pillaged the living room and rummaged through the liquor cabinet before falling asleep in an upstairs bedroom.

No clean getaway
An alleged thieving ex-janitor messed up when he failed to conceal his identity while reportedly holding up the Shell gas stations where he used to work. According to police, security cameras caught him robbing one gas station twice. The man reportedly complained to the clerk that he did not take enough money during the first visit.

Stoned-cold revenge
A man who was ripped off while trying to buy marijuana from a dealer at an Inner Richmond district bar got his revenge. He tracked down cops and accused the dealer trying of threaten him with a gun in the bar, forcing a weapons search. No gun was found, but the dealer was slapped with narcotics violations.

 

Bay Area NewsCrimeCrime & CourtsLocalSan Francisco

If you find our journalism valuable and relevant, please consider joining our Examiner membership program.
Find out more at www.sfexaminer.com/join/

Just Posted

Students in an after-school community hub move quickly through a social circle as they play a game at the Mission YMCA on Friday, May 7, 2021. (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
Parents scramble for ‘Summer Together’ spaces

City program offering free camps sees high demand, confusion over enrollment

The San Francisco Giants celebrate team legend Willie Mays' 90th birthday before taking on the San Diego Padres at Oracle Park on May 7, 2021 in San Francisco, California. (Photography by Chris Victorio | Special to the S.F. Examiner).
Willie Mays returns to the ballpark for a special birthday bash

Giants celebrate No. 24’s 90th in an intimate party for a few thousand friends

Legislation introduced by Assemblymember Phil Ting has expanded the range of people who can request a gun violence restraining order against someone. (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
Use of gun violence restraining orders continues to rise

For the fourth year in a row, the number of gun violence… Continue reading

The Port of San Francisco, which controls much of the The City’s waterfront, faces potential layoffs due to a financial crisis caused by the pandemic. 
Steven Ho/
Special to S.F. Examiner
In a financial ‘crisis,’ SF Port officials lobby for stimulus funding

Looking to right their financial ship, Port of San Francisco officials are… Continue reading

Police Chief Bill Scott on Wednesday said a rebranding and reoganization of the former Gang Task Force amounts to “more than just the name change.” (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
Faced with surge in shootings, Chief Scott reenvisions SFPD’s Gang Task Force

New Community Violence Reduction Team adds officers with community-policing experience

Most Read