Joe Fitz has his cake and eats it, too. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)

City Hall aides face off in 2016 Board of Supervisors Bake-Off

There’s a time for bitter board battles, but also a time for camaraderie. And so it was on Dec. 12, the aides of those supervisors we write so much about came together for the 2016 Board of Supervisors Bake-Off.

Your very own Fitz sat on a panel of judges for the baking contest on Monday, along with Brittany Vock, production manager at Mission Pie, and Claudine Bingham, a 20-year custodian at City Hall.

Claudine, of course, is much-loved around City Hall, and Vock is a baked-goods expert. My best qualification for the bake off is probably the Santa-esque paunch resting above my belt. Credentials!

And man oh man, the cakes and cookies and goodies were delicious — and baked by the aides of all the sitting San Francisco supervisors. Judging was mighty tough, indeed.

During the contest, however, judges were not allowed to know who baked what, lest our progressive/moderate/personal biases sneak in.

Frosting abounded. A “Dump Trump” bundt cake stunned, and a late-entry from the Clerk of the Board, Angela Calvillo, made for the perfect post-contest treat: persimmon cookies.

Joe Fitz has his cake and eats it, too. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)
Joe Fitz has his cake and eats it, too. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)

We judged based on creativity, taste, visuals and a “discretionary” category, and awarded in those categories, as well as a “Best in Show.” The aides, some of the supervisors and other City Hall staffers waited patiently (and perhaps frustratingly) for us to finish sampling the treats, so they could eat.

Seriously, I thought I saw Supervisor London Breed sharpening her forks. Jason Fried of the Local Agency Formation Commission hurried us along, as he practically salivated.

I also recorded the whole silly adventure (and the judging process) on Facebook Live, for anyone who’d care to live vicariously through our taste buds.

A homey video loop of a fireplace played on a TV on a shelf, as we tasted treat after treat.

We awarded “Most Creative” to Frances Hsieh’s cookies, honoring the termed-out progressives. Supervisor Eric Mar was represented by little McDonald’s-themed cookies, a tribute to his Happy Meal health legislation.

Supervisor David Campos was represented by little bow tie cookies, his accessory of choice. Supervisor John Avalos’ good taste in tunes was honored by little vinyl album cookies.

“Most Delicious” went to “Mo’ Money,” a mint chocolate cake so moist my eyes rolled back after the first bite. That was by Jen Low, maestro of ceremonies and aide to Supervisor Norman Yee.

A red velvet cake from the Budget Legislative Analyst Office. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)
A red velvet cake from the Budget Legislative Analyst Office. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)

And the most visually stunning was easily a red velvet cake from the Budget Legislative Analyst Office, though I’m seriously glad they put a warning tag about the Golden Gate Bridge that topped the frosting — not edible!

But the “Best in Show” winner really whipped it up in every category — style and taste especially.

Ashley Summers, Supervisor Katy Tang’s aide, won best in show for her cake that played off of her boss’ lactation legislation: two bosom shaped tres leche cakes, replete with edible nipples and honey frosting. The honey was subtle, but made everyone exclaim “mmmm.”

The cake’s name? The Land of Milk and Honey.

It’s probably a little NSFW, but damn, it was tasty.

On Guard prints the news and raises hell each week. Email Fitz at joe@sfexaminer.com, follow him on Twitter and Instagram @FitztheReporter, and Facebook at Facebook.com/FitztheReporter.

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A red velvet cake from the Budget Legislative Analyst Office. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)

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