Nato Green, left, snaps a selfie with Bernie Sanders during the senator’s San Francisco visit on Monday. (Courtesy Nato Green via Instagram)

Nato Green, left, snaps a selfie with Bernie Sanders during the senator’s San Francisco visit on Monday. (Courtesy Nato Green via Instagram)

BerNato in the Mission

http://sfexaminer.com/category/the-city/sf-news-columns/nato-green/

Now that the collective waterboarding of the primaries is behind us, I don’t know how I’ll endure 150 days until Election Day.

On Monday, Bernie Sanders came to my neighborhood. I lined up along Mission Street. The Secret Service told us to stand against the wall. There were lots of Bernie Bros about, by which I mean mostly people of color chanting in Spanish. Bernie came out of La Taqueria where, I am afraid, he did not order from the secret menu, and came through the crowd shaking hands. When he got to me, supervisors David Campos and Jane Kim, his entourage, introduced us, “This is Nato Green, our comedian.”

Bernie shook my hand and thanked me, presumably for all my well-crafted holocaust/class war jokes. I captioned my #BerNato selfie with the Mission being overrun by Jewish socialists. Bernie’s hands are soft, like mine, which suggests that my life of righteous, failing causes may have a future in it. Years ago, I saw Bernie speak to a capacity crowd of old white people with fanny packs. At the time, I thought, an old white guy saying sad statistics for an hour and a half doesn’t feel like the revolution to me. Apparently, I was wrong.

In the last month, 500,000 new Democrats registered in California. That’s what a contested primary with real ideological differences gets. Thank goodness, Bernie didn’t quit sooner like he was told.

Since the Associated Press dispensed with democratic process, I’ve been mad. I hate substanceless horse race press coverage, superdelegates, caucuses, primary schedules, the electoral college, campaign mailers, memes, think pieces (including my own right now) and all of the other things that, by design, discourage participation, minimize real change and keep people cynical and disengaged.

Speaking of cynicism, I like it when people get excited about politics. I didn’t think much about Bernie until people got really excited and turned out in hordes. I’m enjoying watching people be moved about Hillary’s shattering of ye olde glass ceiling. I’m also amused by the stunning chutzpah of whoever put Angela Davis on a “We Did It” Hillary meme.

I propose a constitutional amendment that makes George Bush the last white-male president. We should allow a period of time now, maybe the next 50 years, where no more white guys get to seek higher office. Bernie’s great, but for every Bernie, there are a hundred Paul Ryans. Dayenu.

Those advocating a third party road for Bernie should realize that Bernie lost SAN FRANCISCO. If he can’t win here, what could the strategy possibly be? The system is rigged to discourage radical change, but Clinton won the most votes. By a lot. By millions of votes. Voter fraud/suppression doesn’t yield that kind of margin.

Meanwhile, Clintonites are hastily glossing over the 11 million votes Bernie got and the agenda that energized them. Assuming that an anti-Trump vote will be enough to bring these new and independent voters out without substantive engagement with the policies will help Clinton lose.

Two big silver linings I take from this election: First, the end of Christian piety. For the first time in my life, spouting a bunch of sanctimonious Jesusy mumbo jumbo did not mean foolproof triumph. For us heathens, we can savor our vices in peace.

Second, conventional wisdom has long been that the growing mass of independent voters were politically to the right of Democratic primary voters. Sanders’ success with independent voters suggests that may not be true. They may be further to the left than most Democratic politicians on matters of economic and environmental justice, and the military. Down-ticket Democrats who want to win, which Democrats are often ambivalent about, would be wise to tap that well and run as Sanders Democrats.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go compose my bucket list for things to do until President Trump sends me to a concentration camp.

Nato Green is a San Francisco-based comedian and writer. He has a monthly movie-riffing show with Natasha Muse and Kaseem Bentley called Riffer’s Delight at the Alamo Drafthouse. Debates to @natogreen.#BerNatoAngela DavisBernie BrosBernie SandersGeorge BushHillary ClintonMissionNato GreenSan Francisco

If you find our journalism valuable and relevant, please consider joining our Examiner membership program.
Find out more at www.sfexaminer.com/join/

Just Posted

U.S. Attorney David Anderson announces federal firearms charges against two men for their roles in a March 2019 shooting outside the Fillmore Heritage Center in a news conference alongside SFPD staff at the Phillip Burton Federal Building on Thursday, Jan. 9, 2020. (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
Departing U.S. attorney predicts corruption probe will continue

David Anderson shook up City Hall as top federal prosecutor

Board of Supervisors President Shamann Walton, a former school board member, has been asked to help secure an agreement between the school district and teacher’s union. <ins>(Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)</ins>
 <ins></ins>
Supervisor Walton tapped to mediate teacher contract talks

District and union at odds over hours in-person students should be in the classroom

California is set to receive supplies of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine, which is still under review by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. (Courtesy photo)
California could receive 380K doses of new J&J COVID vaccine next week

California could receive 380,300 doses of the new Johnson & Johnson vaccine… Continue reading

Disability advocates protested outside the home of San Francisco Health Officer Tomas Aragon. (Courtesy Brooke Anderson)
Vaccine rollout plan for people with disabilities remains deeply flawed

On February 13, disability activists paid a visit to the house of… Continue reading

A Bay Area Concrete Recycling facility that opened on PG&E property in 2019. Former PG&E employees have been accused of accepting bribes from Bay Area Concrete. (Courtesy of Bay Area Concrete Recycling via ProPublica)
Lawsuit reveals new allegations against PG&E contractor accused of fraud

By Scott Morris Bay City News Foundation Utility giant Pacific Gas &… Continue reading

Most Read