With everybody in Washington breathing deep signs of relief that earlier today the Senate passed the debt-ceiling deal approved yesterday by the House, and President Obama quickly signed the measure into law, it behooves us all to contemplate what would have been had this happpy day not come around.
Recall that Obama told us that verily, surely the world would end on Aug. 2 if something wasn't done by today to enable him and the rest of Washington professional political class continue the world's biggest bank heist.
So now we must turn to Iowahawk, a prairie sage, political theorist and occasional humorist, for enlightenment. Fortunately, he just happens to have compiled the 26 most horrendous consequences we would all be facing tomorrow if our wise leaders had not acted today.
Here are the top 10:
1. Beltway policy experts begin living by own wits; after 45 minutes there are no survivors.
2. Roving bands of outlaws stalk our streets, selling incandescent bulbs to vulnerable children.
3. Unregulated mohair prices at the whim of unscrupulous mohair speculators.
4. NPR news segments no longer buffered by soothing zither interludes.
5. Breadlines teeming with jobless Outreach Coordinators, Diversity Liaisons, and Sustainability Facilitators.
6. Cowboy poetry utterly lacking in metre.
7. General Motors unfairly forced to build cars that people want, for a profit.
8. Chaos reigns at Goldman Sachs, who no longer knows who to bribe with political donations.
9. Mankind's dream of high speed government rail service between Chicago and Iowa City tragically dies.
10. Sesame Street descends into Mad Maxian anarchy; Oscar the Grouch fashions shivs out the letter J and the number 4.
Knowing that you would demand a link to the remaining 16 on Iowahawk's list, I have helpfully provided said link here.