Stimulus or shamulus?

Senate Republicans have compiled a list of their “favorite” stimulus projects — that is, some of the most wacky federally-funded boondoggles they could come up with. Click here for the full list. We've covered several of these in our Daily Outrage feature, but check out these beauties:

1.) $300,000 for mapping radioactive rabbit feces.

If you had $300K to spend, why wouldn't you want to invest in such a noble pursuit?

2.) $4,200-$5,500 tax credit for purchasing golf carts.

The only thing worse would be if these things were part of a green initiative for cleaner highways.

3.) $219,000 to study the sex lives of female college freshmen.

I am aware that there are droves of researchers willing to do this to free. I think they're called “guys.”

4.) $1 million to renovate the “Sunset Strip.”

You can't take your Ferrari to the clubs if you don't have taxpayer-funded roads to get there, obviously.

5.) $2.3 million for bug research in Connecticut.

As a Connecticut native, I can say there's no better place to research WASPs.

6.) $6 million for a snowmaking facility. In the 15th snowiest city in the country.

Place your bets on whether it makes it to 10th snowiest by the end of the year.

7.) $500,000 to study “social networks like Facebook.”

Boss: “What are you working on there, Joe?”
Employee: “Oh, I was just utilizing my federal grant to look at beach pictures of this girl I know.”
Boss: “Carry on.”

8.) $380,000 to spay and neuter pets in Wichita, Kansas.

The saddest pet town in America.

9.) $3.4 million for a turtle tunnel in Florida.

Leave it to the federal government to find an even slower presence on the highway than a Florida driver.

10.) $30 million for a spring training baseball complex for the Arizona Diamondbacks and Colorado Rockies.

The top three players of the Rockies make more than that in a year, and taxpayers have to foot the bill.

This is change, America.

Beltway ConfidentialUS

If you find our journalism valuable and relevant, please consider joining our Examiner membership program.
Find out more at www.sfexaminer.com/join/

Just Posted

Police Chief Bill Scott on Wednesday said a rebranding and reoganization of the former Gang Task Force amounts to “more than just the name change.” (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
SFPD Gang Task Force is ‘no more’: Chief re-envisions investigative unit

New Community Violence Reduction Team adds officers with community-policing experience

Baseball Hall of Famer Willie Mays attends an event to honor the San Francisco Giants' 2014 World Series victory on Thursday, June 4, 2015, in Washington, D.C. (Olivier Douliery/Abaca Press/TNS)
Willie Mays turns 90: San Francisco celebrates the greatest Giant

By Al Saracevic Examiner staff writer I couldn’t believe it. Willie Mays… Continue reading

Ja’Mari Oliver, center, 11, a fifth grader at Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy, is surrounded by his classmates at a protest outside the Safeway at Church and Market streets on Wednesday, May 5, 2021 in support of him following an April 26 incident where he was falsely accused by an employee of stealing. (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
School community rallies behind Black classmate stopped at Safeway

‘When you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us’

A warning notice sits under the windshield wiper of a recreational vehicle belonging to a homeless man named David as it sits parked on De Wolf Street near Alemany Boulevard on Friday, Aug. 31, 2018. A proposed SF Municipal Transportation Agency law would make it illegal for overnight parking on the side street for vehicles taller than seven feet or longer than 22 feet. (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
SFMTA to resume ‘poverty tows’ amid calls to make temporary ban permanent

Fines and fees hurt low-income, homeless residents, but officials say they are a necessary tool

Income from Shared Spaces will provide financial resources to the San Francisco Municipal Transporation Agency, according to its director, Jeffrey Tumlin. (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
SFMTA director says Shared Spaces serves transit agency’s financial interest

$10.6 million price tag for program raises concerns among transit agency’s board members

Most Read