Was Lindsay Lohan on Tom Cruise’s radar?

all: getty images file photos

all: getty images file photos

Everyone’s talking about the Vanity Fair piece on Tom Cruise that alleges he “auditioned” wives through some wacky Scientology filter before he settled on Katie Holmes. (Why is this a surprise?) But now a source tells the Huffington Post that none other than Lindsay Lohan was under consideration at one point. Wow.

Who knows which Thetan level you have to reach to be attracted to that vain, vapid and voodoo-hoodoo hot mess … but thankfully, Lindsay dodged that bullet.

Paging Dr. DNA

Poor Michael Clarke Duncan, star of “The Green Mile” and an apparent all-around cool guy. First, he’s dead, having succumbed on Monday to complications from an earlier heart attack. Second, he was engaged to Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, that horrible prune of a woman who came to brief fame after she alienated everyone on “The Apprentice.”

Now it seems a woman named Marqay Ambrose is claiming to be his estranged daughter and wants “what’s mine” from the actor’s estate. According to Radar, family members admit her mother did briefly date the actor. Well, as they say, one night is all it takes. …

Flotus-pocus

Celebs hit the Twitterverse to post about Michelle Obama’s speech at the DNC on Tuesday.  Highlights:  Chris Rock: “Can’t wait to hear the first lady speak tonight I hear [she] speaks [at] 8 and at 8:45 she’s gonna sing single ladies.”

Michael Ian Black: “Michelle Obama is inspiring me to support my president, but more importantly, to buy some Crest White Strips.”

Neko Case: “On the regular Internet I learned that people really love Michelle Obama’s speech and that people really want to bang that Peter Dinklage guy.”

QUICK TAKES

  • Not surprisingly, fellow doper-accusee Barry Bonds lent his support to disgraced Lance Armstrong, saying, “He was the greatest cyclist of all.”
  • In the wake of Hank Williams Jr.’s, er, “colorful” musings on the president, Alec Baldwin took to Twitter and called Bocephus a “broken down, senile, racist coot,” and a “pathetic wheezing fossil.”  
  • Chuck Norris sent out a Tolkien-esque warning to all that an Obama re-election would bring “1,000 years of darkness.”


HAPPY BIRTHDAY

  • Musician Roger Waters of Pink Floyd is 69.
  • Pippa Middleton is 29.
  • Actor Idris Elba (“Luther”) is 40.
  • TV journalist Elizabeth Vargas (“20/20”) is 40.
  • Singer Macy Gray is 45.
  • Actress Rosie Perez is 48.
  • Actress Jane Cuzrtin (“SNL”) is 65.

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