Courtesy PhotoDeal: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise reached a custody deal.

Courtesy PhotoDeal: Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise reached a custody deal.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' quickie divorce revealed

The lightning-quick divorce settlement Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise reached Monday is officially under wraps — but needless to say, the juicy bits have already been unveiled. Way to go, intrepid tabloid journalists!

Word is that Katie will get primary physical custody of daughter Suri — a step down from the sole custody she was seeking, but hey, she had to aim high and leave some bargaining room, right?

“They both love their daughter, and Tom thinks she should be with her mother,” a source told People magazine, adding that Tom “didn’t want his family dragged through the mud” in a public custody fight.

TMZ debunked a report that Tom’s visitation must be supervised by Katie’s staff, calling it “absolutely, 100 percent false.”

After much speculation that Scientology was an issue in the split, the site claims religion is indeed covered in the settlement — which allegedly spells out matters of faith that Suri’s parents can bring up with her.

And get this: The rules relax as Suri gets older … and, presumably, more capable of making up her own mind. In other words, this celebrity divorce settlement will go down in history as the fastest, the most detailed — and the creepiest!

So, wait … TomKat’s lawyers worked out this settlement in days. But Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are still squabbling?!

Usher’s Heartache

His contentious relationship with ex-wife Tameka Foster notwithstanding, Usher is reportedly devastated that his former stepson Kyle Glover, 11, has been declared brain-dead after a tragic accident.

The singer “grew close to Kyle and, of course, that has nothing to do with the situation with Tameka,” a source told Us magazine. “He loved Kyle. This is a terrible, awful tragedy. Usher is torn up.”

The boy was struck in the head by a passing Jet Ski on Friday while floating on an inner tube in a lake in Atlanta.

“Tameka and Usher don’t get along, but in this circumstance Usher is coming to her side,” said a source. “Usher practically raised Kyle as his own. He’s known him for seven years. It is so sad what happened.” Heartbreakingly so.

Quick takes

  • Laura Dern restarted dormant divorce proceedings after attempting a reconciliation with husband Ben Harper.
  • Brad Garrett listed his five-bedroom Malibu mansion for almost $11 million.
  • Sara Ramirez of “Grey’s Anatomy” married Ryan Debolt in New York on Wednesday.
  • 50 Cent tweeted apologizing for “insensitive” comments about autism on Twitter.
  • Lily Allen and husband Sam Cooper are expecting their second child; daughter Ethel is 8 months old.

Happy Birthday

  •  Rapper Lil’ Kim is 37.
  •  Reality star Nadya “Octomom” Suleman is 37.
  •  Actor Michael Rosenbaum (“Smallville”) is 40
  •  Actor Justin Chambers (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 42.
  •  Actor Greg Grunberg (“Heroes”) is 46.
  •  Actress and TV personality Lisa Rinna is 49.
  •  Guitarist Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi is 53.
  •  Actress Sela Ward is 56.
  •  Actress Mindy Sterling (“Austin Powers”) is 59.
  •  Singer Bonnie Pointer of the Pointer Sisters is 62.

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