To heir is human, but Kate’s waiting

Getty Images File PhotoDrink up: Prince William’s bride

Getty Images File PhotoDrink up: Prince William’s bride

In days of yore, when knights rode astride gilded steeds and no one bathed, a king and his queen were expected to carry on the royal lineage in due haste. Noblemen would be dispatched to the bedchambers to watch the deed go down, just to keep everyone honest.

As awesome as it would be to picture Queen Elizabeth II at the foot of Kate Middleton and Prince William’s bed on their wedding night, such things no longer occur. Now all we can do is wait for sure-fire signs of pregnancy such as a baby bump, excessive folic acid consumption or the shunning of liquor.

When queen-to-be Kate toasted with water instead of Champagne a few days ago, it seemed to be enough proof for several media outlets to announce her pregnancy.

Sadly, this week she was seen drinking a glass of wine. And so we wait.

Johnston & Johnson

Of course, some people really shouldn’t reproduce.

Bristol Palin ex and prophylactically challenged Levi Johnston had another baby out of wedlock with some Alaskan babe this week, fathering a daughter named Breeze Beretta.

Already in a contentious kerfuffle with Bristol over their son, Tripp — memorialized in the reality show, “Life’s A Tripp” — this potent baby daddy not only shoots to score with no defense, but he also seems to come up with the dumbest names imaginable for his spawn.

Make up your mind, Levi: Is a life a “Tripp” or a “Breeze”?

The dog ate my script

The mystery continues as to why folks keep hiring Lindsay Lohan to be in their films. Her latest opportunity came in the form of a cameo in the upcoming “Scary Movie 5.”

According to various sources, Lohan reportedly failed to show up to any of the meetings surrounding the project, such as wardrobe fittings or script readings, and then she attempted to bail completely by citing a case of “walking pneumonia” to get out altogether.

There does seem to be a method to her madness, though: Her walk-on role would require her to kiss grizzled nutter Charlie Sheen.

Fair enough, Lilo, but it is a horror movie, remember?

Quick Takes

  • Ex-Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart is wanted in Kentucky for an alleged assault that occurred after a gig.
  • “Kill Bill” star Michael Madsen was pulled over in his hot rod on suspicion of DUI in Malibu.
  • Gwyneth Paltrow has been voted the world’s best-dressed woman by People magazine.
  • “Newsroom” star Alison Pill accidently tweeted a topless picture of herself, presumably meant to go to her boyfriend.  
  • Nick and Vanessa Lachey welcomed their new son, Camden John, on Wednesday night.

 

Charlie SheenentertainmentFeaturesGossipLindsay Lohan

If you find our journalism valuable and relevant, please consider joining our Examiner membership program.
Find out more at www.sfexaminer.com/join/

Just Posted

San Francisco Police Officer Nicholas Buckley, pictured here in 2014, is now working out of Bayview Station. <ins>(Department of Police Accountability records)</ins>
SF police return officer to patrol despite false testimony

A San Francisco police officer accused of fabricating a reason for arresting… Continue reading

Riordan Crusaders versus St. Ignatius Wildcats at JB Murphy Field on the St. Ignatius Prepatory High School Campus on September 14, 2019 in San Francisco, California. (Chris Victorio | Special to the S.F. Examiner)
State allows high school sports to resume, but fight is far from over

For the first time since mid-March 2020, there is hope for high… Continue reading

A nurse draws up a dose of the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine at the Mission neighborhood COVID-19 vaccine site on Monday, Feb. 1, 2021. (Kevin N. Hume/S.F. Examiner)
SF expands vaccine eligiblity, but appointments ‘limited’

San Francisco expanded eligibility for COVID-19 vaccinations Wednesday but appointments remain limited… Continue reading

The now-shuttered Cliff House restaurant overlooks Ocean Beach people at Ocean Beach on Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2021. (Sebastian Miño-Bucheli / Special to the S.F. Examiner)
History buffs working to keep Cliff House collection in public view

Funds needed to buy up historic building’s contents at auction

Perceived supply and demand in the Bay Area’s expensive rental market can play a big part in determining what people pay. (Shutterstock)
Bay Area rental market is rebounding — but why?

Hearing about people leaving town can have as big an effect as actual economic factors

Most Read