The naked truth about LiLo’s jail time delay

Actress-turned-professional train wreck Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 30 days in jail on Wednesday for repeatedly violating her probation. Of course, she won’t actually be serving 30 days. Come on! She’s famous. This is her fifth jail sentence for two drunken driving charges. You know the old saying, “Six strikes and you’re out.”

Due to overcrowding, the actress will most likely serve hours in jail. Oh, and she won’t be doing her time anytime soon, either. According to TMZ, the judge is allowing Lohan to complete her Playboy photo shoot before going to the pokey.

It’s not a surprise that the judge obliged Lohan’s request to delay serving her sentence. It’s for the public good. The world needs to see photos of a young woman who agreed to pose naked in a magazine so she can earn more money for drugs (ahem, allegedly), which allows her to continue to violate her probation and go before the judge again. It’s the circle of life, people.

E! is reporting that Lohan had finished the photo shoot last week, but Playboy leader Hugh Hefner was not pleased with the results. The Hef ordered a reshoot of the photo spread, which is scheduled for the January issue.

‘Baby’ singer’s baby?

Singer Justin Bieber has been slapped with a paternity suit by a fan. That sound you hear is a million tweens texting frowny faces.

The lawsuit was filed by 20-year-old Mariah Yeater, who claims she hooked up with the then-16-year-old Bieber after one of his concerts.

Because he’s a 17-year-old boy, Bieber has tweeted his response to the lawsuit, typing “So I’m going to ignore the rumors … and focus on what is real. An opportunity to help by doing what i love. Judge me on the music!”

It must be true, right? What 20-year-old woman wants to admit to having sex with a 16-year-old boy, even if he is famous? It’s called statutory rape, lady. All that child support money will buy her a lot of cigarettes, which everyone knows is like currency in prison.

All things Kardashian

If filing divorce papers wasn’t serious enough, sex tape star-turned-reality show star Kim Kardashian has stopped following her soon-to-be ex-husband Kris Humphries on Twitter. [Cue dramatic music]

Also, Kim is pretending that she’s heartbroken about the split and doesn’t want to talk about it, and what better way to say “I don’t want to talk about it” than doing publicity in Australia for her Kardashian Kollection handbags just a few days after filing for divorce.

“I get that questions are going to be asked and the scrutiny’s going to come, and there’ll be mixed emotions and so many rumors,” Kim told an Australian talk show Thursday morning. “That comes along with the territory, but also, it teaches me I kind of want to step back a little bit.”

Yes, the Kardashians are all about taking a step back.

Meanwhile, Kim’s mother, Kris Jenner, went on “Today” and denied what everyone knows to be true: that Kim only married Humphries for the TV ratings and the money.

“It certainly wasn’t a sham, certainly wasn’t for TV,” Jenner said.

E! reportedly bought the rights to the nuptials for $17.9 million and aired it as a two-day special. By the way, Kris appeared on “Today” to promote her new book, “Kris Jenner … And All Things Kardashian” (apparently, Kris thinks Kardashian fans actually read. How cute!).

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