Scoop! K-Fed ‘happy’ with Teen Choice debut

Critics and real hip-hoppers have weighed in on Kevin Federline’s “performance” of his first single “Lose Control” at the Teen Choice Awards, calling it a “disaster” and a “joke.”

Of course, the clueless K-Fed, whose album “Playing With Fire” begins it assault on society in October, thinks he did a swell job.

“I’m happy,” Mr. Britney Spears told People magazine. “I think I pulled it off pretty well. [But] I’m overly critical of myself.”

Yes, people are always saying Federline is so hard on himself. Wow, Scoop’s sarcastic-o-meter almost exploded after that last statement.

Britney: Don’t touch my belly

Speaking of Britney, backstage at the Teen Choice Awards, host Jessica Simpson asked Spears if she could kiss her very pregnant belly.

A witness told Us Weekly that Spears responded “Hell no!” and “Jessica was really insulted, but Britney refused to let her do it.”

Quick, someone pitch them a reality show

Speaking of clueless dolts, oil heir and professional Lindsay Lohan-basher Brandon Davis and “singer” Paris Hilton are living together. (So much for that vow of celibacy, right Paris?)

Apparently, Davis has been living in Hilton’s Hollywood Hills home since ditching rehab in July. Originally, the move was supposed to be temporary, because Davis’ parents are selling their home, but it’s starting to look more permanent.

“They’re hooking up, but she doesn’t want anyone to know about it,” an insider told Life & Style Weekly. “It’s being kept very hush-hush.”

Now, where’s those reality show cameras when you need them?

Juliette gets in on the fun

Speaking of Paris, actress-singer Juliette Lewis is joining in on the national pastime: Paris Hilton bashing.

The actress-singer has finally figured out what everybody already knows: Paris Hilton is only famous for being famous and not for any actual talent.

“You have to analyze what a star is. She’s just someone who is in magazines,” The Juliette and The Licks frontwoman told ContactMusic.com. “The preoccupation with all that says something about people, but I’m not one of the preoccupied ones.”

Can you pass the infidelity, er, I mean salt?

On Sunday, Kate Hudson and estranged husband Chris Robinson were spotted having what was an awkward breakfast with their 2-year-old son, Ryder, at A Votre Sante in Los Angeles.

After five years of marriage, the actress and the Black Crowes singer announced last week they were separating amid rumors that Hudson has hooked up with her “You, Me and Dupree” co-star Owen Wilson.

At breakfast, Hudson was still wearing her wedding ring, while Robinson was not. One of Hudson’s blabby buddies says Goldie Hawn’s daughter is starting to have second thoughts about ending her marriage.

“Kate knows Chris was a great husband and father and questions what kind of future she would have with Owen,” the source told Us Weekly. “Owen has never been monogamous, and Kate knows that.”

smansfield@examiner.com

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