Scoop! Jessica’s ‘Affair’ is not what you think

Jessica Simpson is playing coy about the title of her new album, “A Public Affair.”

Even though her marriage to Nick Lachey started as an MTV reality show and the divorce played out in the press, the singer-turned-alleged-actress says “A Public Affair” has nothing to do with that stuff.

“People probably expected [it to be about Lachey] because of everything going on in my life, but it’s not about him at all,” Simpson told MTV News. “It’s about me going out with my girlfriends and forgetting everything that’s around me, which is paparazzi, and just having a fun night. Because [paparazzi] can ruin a night.”

And hey, who can’t relate to the paparazzi ruining a night out? Oh wait, just about everyone in the world.

Eva: Beauty is only skin deep?

Speaking of rocket scientists, Eva Longoria has finally figured out that people are more focused on her looks than her, ummm, talent.

The “Desperate Housewives” star said she realized her beauty and gorgeous bod will eventually go south, but instead of, you know, honing her craft, she’s just planning on quitting acting and raising little Longorias.

“Your looks can only last so long and you can’t depend on them forever,” the “Desperate Housewives” star told MSNBC. “The most important thing to me is not work — it’s to have a family. I want to be a mother. I want to get married. I want to raise kids. I’d much rather have a family than win an Oscar.”

Now, this would make a good sitcom

Charlie Sheen and Britney Spears:Partners?

Yep, the “Two and a Half Men” star and the “singer” may go into business together.

Sheen, who recently moved in with his new girlfriend, Brooke Mueller, has his own children’s clothing line, Sheen Kidz. Spears was considering launching her own line (hey, it’s not like she’s busy putting out albums or anything), but is considering hooking up with Sheen, businesswise.

“Brit’s people approached Sheen Kidz out of the blue. She’d seen his clothing and really liked it,” a source told OK! magazine. “She wants to start her own children’s clothing line and shethought Sheen Kidz would be able to help get things off the ground.”

Not surprisingly, Sheen thinks it’s a great idea.

“Charlie believes it would be fun to work with Britney,” the source said.

J.Lo won’t shoot J.R.

Gossip hounds are barking that Jennifer Lopez ditched the big-screen adaptation of “Dallas” because she had no interest in playing Sue Ellen to John Travolta’s J.R. Ewing.

Lopez’s rep declined to comment, only confirming the singer-actress-fashion-designer dropped out of the film.

Travolta, who is filming the big-screen remake of the hit Broadway musical “Hairspray,” was the first person signed up for the movie. Why did J.Lo agree to do it?

“The script sucks,” an insider told The New York Post. “And John Travolta? If it had been a man’s man like Ed Harris or Tommy Lee Jones, but you don’t just go from doing ‘Hairspray’ to ‘Dallas.’”

Man, oh, man, when the actress who thought “Gigli” was a good idea bails out of your movie …

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