Scoop! Houston, you have a big fan problem

You think young actresses such as Lindsay Lohan and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have creepy fans? Try being Whitney Houston and having Osama bin Laden as a fan.

Kola Boof, bin Laden’s former slave, claims in her upcoming book that the terrorist was obsessed with the singer-actress.

“He told me Whitney was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen,” Boof told Harper’s Bazaar. “He said that he had a paramount desire for her and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting.”

Actually, bin Laden wanted to do more than just meet Houston. He wanted to make her one of his wives and wanted her husband, singer-turned-reality-show-star-turned-trainwreck Bobby Brown, out of the picture.

“He would say how beautiful she is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband, Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women’s husbands killed,” Kola said,.

“He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives.”

Funny seeing you here

Gossip lovers will be disappointed to hear that Jessica Simpson and her ex-husband, Nick Lachey, didn’t clash at the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday.

But hey, there were plenty of cringe-inducing moments, and we’re not just talking about Kevin Federline’s “rap” performance at the end of the show.

Simpson co-hosted the event with rumored love interest, comedian Dane Cook, while Lachey sat in the front row.

Wait, it gets better. Later in the evening, Lachey picked up an award for Choice Love Song for “What’s Left of Me” (proving that teens have no taste).

“I just want to start about by saying … awkward? A little bit,” Lachey said. While the former boy-bander gave his acceptance speech, clips from his music video featuring his girlfriend, Vanessa Minillo, played behind him.

And now, back to the Federline performance … we haven’t seen lip-synching like that since, well, when is the last time Britney Spears performed “live?”

Snakes in a house

So, just how desperate for attention is Roseanne Barr?

The comedian is so desperate for attention that when she sold her Beverly Hills house, she hid naughty pictures of herself all over for the new owners to find.

That new owner?

Samuel L. Jackson.

“We bought the house from Roseanne when she moved to whereever it was she moved to. The scary thing about that was she said, ‘Samuel, I left some nude pictures around for you in various different places,’” the “Snakes on a Plane” star told “I haven’t run across them yet!”

What Jackson is trying to say is, “I’m tired of these [expletive deleted] naked pictures in this [expletive deleted] house!”

Moore than a feeling

Ashton Kutcher wasn’t looking for love the night he met his future wife, Demi Moore.

The 28-year-old Kutcher, who is out making the PR rounds for his upcoming movie, “The Guardian,” in yet another attempt to prove to the world that he is more than Kelso from “That ’70s Show,” said he

didn’t think the 43-year-old former Mrs. Bruce Willis was his type.

“Honestly, I was, like, jocking some other girl that night. My focus was on hooking up with somebody else,” Kutcher told GQ magazine. “I liked ‘G.I. Jane,’ but I didn’t think she was hot as G.I. Jane. She was never my cup of tea.”

We imagine the couple’s first conversation went like this:

Ashton: “Hey, remember when your husband was in ‘Die Hard’”?

Demi: “Yes.”

Ashton: “That was awesome!”

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