Scoop: Did Lindsay fake her remorse on relapse?

Was Lindsay Lohan’s remorseful stream of tweets admitting she failed a drug test just a cynical ploy for sympathy? The actress sounded contrite as she confessed, “This was certainly a setback for me, but I am taking responsibility for my actions and I’m prepared to face the consequences.” But an observer who claims to have witnessed her composing the messages says she was giggling — and drinking.

As she crafted her messages at Hollywood restaurant Magnolia on Sept. 17, the onlooker told Us magazine, the “Machete” star turned to her assistant and a male pal for advice on making them “more personal” … all the while drinking Jack and Cokes.

“Her friend would say, ‘No, use ‘setback,’ don’t say ‘mistake.’ They’ll say you make mistakes all the time!” recalled the witness, adding that the pal noted, “It’s better to say you’re responsible. Denying it will just get everyone mad per usual.”

LiLo’s response? “She giggled” and asked her assistant to order her another round, per the gawker.

And though she may have solemnly informed her Twitter followers that “substance abuse is a disease,” she wasn’t above joking about drinking, saying, “What are you gonna do? I’m ‘ill’” — the last delivered with glib air quotes.

Marriage Trouble?

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are presenting a united front in the face of tabloid reports he has cheated — he’s even threatened legal action against Star magazine for publishing tales of extramarital trysts. But are there cracks in the façade of their perfect union?

After five years of marriage, the actress, 47, and the “Punk’d” star, 32, appear to be going strong. “She gushes over Ashton,” a source on the set of Demi’s latest movie tells People magazine, adding that during a recent visit from Ashton “you could hear them laughing in her trailer.”

However, though the “G.I. Jane” star has retained her slammin’ bod — as recent Twitter bikini pix prove — some observers believe the couple’s age difference is in fact an issue.

“Somehow I thought it was going to come back to haunt them,” a source described as an “industry colleague” opines. “He got married young and, as crass as this sounds, never seemed to have his fill.”

Be that as it may, “they seemed super-committed” to the marriage, notes the source.

While they seemed like an odd match at first, we’ve come to think of Demi and Ashton as one of Hollywood’s most stable relationships. Let’s hope the rumors aren’t true!

Janet’s New Man

Janet Jackson split with longtime beau Jermaine Dupri last year in the wake of her brother Michael’s death, but the new man in her life is said to have helped her work through her grief — and, presumably, forget all about J.D.

The “Control” singer was recently spotted having an intimate romantic dinner with Qatari billionaire beau Wissam Al Mana at Rabbit in the Moon restaurant in NYC. The pair met in December, when the diva performed in the Middle East.

“Janet was glowing. They had a corner table and were very cuddly. They seemed very much in love,” a source told Page Six.

“Wissam picked up the check, and when asked if they’d be back next week, they said they were flying to Paris for Fashion Week.”

Conclusion: Dating a billionaire is fun.

Kitty Raymond is an entertainment writer and astrologer. She welcomes feedback at kitty@media-darling.com.

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