Scoop: Brangelina squabbling?

Is Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s fantasy romance really just that — a fantasy? A new “tell-all” book — and, as usual, the tabloids — are painting a much bleaker picture of the super-couple’s supposedly fabulous life together.

“They fight all the time about the kids — where to put toys, saying the wrong thing to a nanny, not cleaning up,” a source told Us magazine. “Like cats and dogs.”

According to the tabloid, the new book “Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie” claims that the pair have a volatile relationship and “they’ve broken up so many times it would make your head spin.” The tome predicts they will split for good by Christmas of next year.

Angie, it’s said, “has a temper like a cobra.” The actress is even supposed to have hired a hit man to off her in 1998 due to her emotional state. (What?)

Jon: ‘Heavy-Handed’

Jon Gosselin is firing back at TLC, the network that made him a star — and sued him for breach of contract. The reality dad claims in court papers obtained by Radar Online that the cable network that brought the world “Jon and Kate Plus 8,” thereby inflicting the tabloid-fixture Gosselins on an unsuspecting world, violated child labor laws by not securing permits to film the couple’s eight children.

The papers declare, “The plaintiff’s [TLC’s] hands are so sullied, polluted and infected with wrongdoing, deception, heavy handedness, unconscionability and disregard for the public’s interest, that the only resolve that justice should mandate is that plaintiff’s infected hands be amputated.” Oh, for goodness’ sake. Who comes up with this stuff?

Shacking Up

Well, that was fast! After dating for just a couple of months, Katy Perry and Russell Brand are reportedly planning to move in together. The brash British comedian has put his home in Hampstead, England, on the market and is hunting for Hollywood rentals with the pop star, reports the U.K.’s OK!

“They’re hoping to move as quickly as possible,” a source said, adding that “Katy’s family have given her the thumbs up as they think that Brand is a nice guy.” Apparently, they do not use the Internet.

Cougar Attack

Demi Moore doesn’t like being called a cougar—and evidently her husband Ashton Kutcher doesn’t like it either. The actor reportedly jumped to his wife’s defense when a clubgoer started mocking her in his presence.

Monday night, at an after-party for a Broadway play in which Ashton appeared, “Demi and Jennifer Aniston were happily sitting together in the VIP when this guy started really obviously making fun of Demi and things like her relationship with a younger man,” a source relayed to Fox’s Pop Tarts. “It went on for quite a while. Ashton heard it and approached him. At first he thought the guy wasn’t serious and was like ‘what the?’ He then realized he was serious. Ashton lost it.”

A verbal argument ensued, with Demi allegedly looking embarrassed. “It got pretty heated, nobody knew what to do,” said the source. The couple reportedly ended up flouncing out the back door with Jen (ever the third wheel) in tow.

We can’t help but wonder what kind of barbs were traded. Like, did the sentence “Well, I have more Twitter followers than you!” come up?

Kitty Raymond is an entertainment writer and astrologer. She welcomes feedback at kitty@media-darling.com.

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