Getty Images file photoSqueaky clean: A concert promoter says Madonna’s sterilization process has been “taken to extremes.”

Madonna to cleanup team: Leave no DNA behind

Madonna reportedly has a “sterilization team” cleaning up after her on her world tour, to obliterate any traces of the “MDNA” singer’s — wait for it — DNA.

“We cannot even look at the dressing room, after it is ready, or even open the door,” a Portuguese concert promoter reportedly told the U.K.’s Daily Mirror. “We can only enter after her sterilization team has left the room. There will not be any of Madonna’s DNA, any hair, or anything. They will clean up everything.”

But it’s not because the 53-year-old pop icon is germaphobic … she just doesn’t want anyone trying to get a biological souvenir of the concert via her hair, skin or saliva.

“In the end it is all to protect her and make her feel comfortable,” the promoter explained. “I do understand it, but it is taken to extremes.”

Oh, please. Surely even the supremely narcissistic Madge doesn’t believe there’s a booming market for strands of her hair on eBay?

Vampire Honeymoon?

Now that OK! magazine has decided Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are engaged and set to wed later this year, it’s only natural that the tabloid would also start manufacturing honeymoon plans for the “Twilight” lovebirds.

“They’ve been having so much fun coming up with all the potential ideas of where they want to go, but when it came down to actually picking one or two places, they had a really hard time,” a source allegedly dished on the pair.

While Rob is said to be “dead set on Europe,” they plan to follow that up with a second leg of the post-nuptial jaunt.

“After they spend some time traveling around Europe, they are going to head for the waves in Bali and then hit the Gold Coast of Australia,” the source said. “They’re hoping that they’ll be able to rent an RV, throw their surfboards in the back and experience the place like locals.”

Uh-huh, that sounds like something they would discuss with their friends. Say, considering that “Fifty Shades of Grey” started out as “Twilight” fan fiction, this OK! writer could be close to landing a lucrative book deal.

Fake Friend?

Why did Kris Humphries start suspecting that Kim Kardashian cheated on him with Kanye West? According to TMZ, the basketball player thought it was suspicious when his wife referred to the rapper as “a close family friend.”

Allegedly, Kris told gal pal Myla Sinanaj he “felt played,” noting, “If he was such a close family friend, why wasn’t he invited to the wedding?”

Well, they did keep the guest list to a mere 3 million people, so it’s understandable that Kanye didn’t make the cut.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

  • Actress Busy Philipps (“Cougar Town”) is 33.
  • Actress Linda Cardellini is 37.
  • Actor Jason Lewis (“Sex and the City”) is 40.
  • Actress Angela Kinsey (“The Office”) is 41.
  • Singer George Michael is 49.
  • Actor-comedian Ricky Gervais is 51.
  • Celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain is 56.
  • Actor Jimmie Walker (“Good Times”) is 65

QUICK TAKES

  • Caleb Followill and wife Lily Aldridge welcomed their firstborn, Dixie Pearl, Thursday in Nashville.
  • Aaron Johnson, 22, and Sam Taylor-Wood, 45, married Thursday in England; they have two daughters.
  • Kristin Davis debuted her budding relationship with Aaron Sorkin with PDA in front of the press.
  • James Marsden is expecting a baby with a Brazilian model, per Page Six.
  • Meg Ryan sold her Bel Air mansion for more than $11 million.

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