Liz Taylor’s bedtime for Bonzo

Ronald Reagan may have been an actor before he became a politician, but he was never a sex symbol like Rock Hudson or Montgomery Clift. There’s a reason for that: The dude is asexual. That’s why the allegations in the upcoming tell-all, “Elizabeth Taylor: There Is Nothing Like A Dame,” are especially, um, unsettling.

According to the book’s author, a teenage Taylor went to then 36-year-old Reagan’s house for dinner and seduced him. Ew.

One excerpt reads, “We sat on his sofa and I could tell he wanted to get it on but he seemed reluctant to make the first move. I became the aggressor. … After a heavy make-out session on the sofa, we went into the bedroom.”

Gack. It sounds like the father of personal responsibility was so passive that he had to be cajoled by the Lolita.

The book also alleges that Taylor had a three-way with John F. Kennedy and Robert Stack in a swimming pool, and aborted Frank Sinatra’s baby. Dame, indeed. Please, let there have been no hanky-panky on the set of “National Velvet.”

Streaming scheming

Here’s a test: Try to name any show on MTV that’s not “Snooki & JWOWW” or “The Jersey Shore.”

Can’t do it? You’re not alone. You’re also not missing much, because everything on the once-great network is now completely irrelevant.

According to the L.A. Times, analyst Todd Juenger portends “a very tough year” for the channel, citing a 32 percent decline in viewership. Sister network Nickelodeon isn’t much better. Spike, Comedy Central and BET are also all down.

But what do all these networks have in common? Younger viewers. And many younger viewers are eschewing traditional cable to stream television on their computers — legally or illegally (anywhere from 18 to 48 percent of people, depending on the source). These viewers are of course not factored into rating analyses.

It’s time for all networks to do what Lifetime, ABC and even PBS have done, which is to stream content online — with ads — to capitalize on this trend. Sticking it to your TV provider is always a plus, too.

Poet Gil Scott-Heron was right: The revolution will NOT be televised!

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