Lindsay Lohan spent less than 5 hours in jail

After a busy weekend of crashing movie premiere afterparties and not being relevant in Hollywood anymore, actress turned professional train wreck Lindsay Lohan showed up to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood late Sunday night to begin serving her 30-day jail sentence.

Don’t make plans to go visit her, though. She’s already been released. If you had 4½ hours in the betting pool, you win a copy of Lohan’s next movie on DVD. (Just kidding: There’s not going to be a next movie.)

According to The Associated Press, Lohan was booked at 8:50 p.m. Sunday, and she was back in her home in Venice by 2 a.m. Of course, this isn’t Lohan’s first time in the big house. In 2007, she spent 84 minutes at the jail before being released.

The punishment isn’t over for the troubled star yet. She still has to complete 53 days of community service at the Los Angeles county morgue and 18 psychotherapy sessions by March 29, after which she will appear before the judge to explain why she didn’t do those things and will manage to avoid serious jail time yet again. 


Avril and Brody’s bar night

Hey, remember Avril Lavigne? She was a popular singer a few years ago. She sang that one song you didn’t like and that other song you really didn’t like. Well, anyway, now Lavigne is dating some chump named Brody Jenner, a stepbrother of the Kardashians who used to be on “The Hills.” Yeah, she knows how to pick ’em, right? At least this one will take a bottle in the face for her.

According to E! Online, the couple was at the Hollywood Roosevelt when Lavigne got into a scuffle. Jenner tried to break up the fight and was rewarded with a bottle in the face for his trouble.

“I don’t fight. I don’t believe in it. To clear things up I got attacked by five people last night out of nowhere. Not cool. My face is f—–,” Jenner told TMZ.

Before the altercation, Jenner tweeted “Having the best night with the love of my life @AvrilLavigne so happy right now!! .. #Movember CRUSH!! haha”. And a few hours later, he tweeted “Interesting Saturday night… Just got of the hospital with a new scar on my face.. Charges/chargers!!!”

I wonder if he updated his Facebook status, too. “Brody Jenner got hit in the face with a bottle.”

It would probably get a million likes.

Don’t feel sorry for Jenner. He’s used to sores on his face. He made out with Paris Hilton once.


Kim totally cares, you guys

Sex-tape star turned professional gossip-page star Kim Kardashian flew to Minnesota over the weekend to talk to her estranged husband, Kris Humphries. Some of Kim’s big-mouthed buddies told TMZ that she is feeling conflicted about the divorce.

Of course she is feeling “conflicted.” When she filed for divorce, she probably thought she would get sympathy. I mean, the wedding totally wasn’t about TV ratings, you guys, and filing for divorce has nothing to do with Kim’s mother’s new book coming out. Instead, the public thinks the entire marriage and the impending divorce were just publicity stunts.

Apparently, Kim and Humphries are meeting with the pastor that married them to discuss their problems. In a related story, the Kardashians think screenwriters are called “pastors.”

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