Who in the world would trust booty-hound ?Leonardo DiCaprio with their Victoria’s Secret model wife? Apparently his good friend Orlando Bloom would.

According to the New York Daily News, while the British actor is in South Africa making a film, his gorgeous wife Miranda Kerr has been getting “cozy” with DiCaprio in New York. The two have been seen partying together until the late hours and whispering into each other’s ears, and she was even spotted with her legs draped over him, according to a Daily News source.

DiCaprio just broke up with another Victoria’s Secret model. Does he actually have his sights set on his friend’s wife? Say it ain’t so!

“There is absolutely nothing going on with Leo,” a “close pal” of Kerr’s told the Daily News. “They have been very good friends for a very long time. There is nothing to it.”

Rob Schneider ‘chosen’ to fail

Bay Area native Rob Schneider is being sued for $1.5 million by folks who invested in his latest straight-to-video film, “The Chosen One,” alleging no return on their investment.

The outspoken actor — who has been known to take full-page ads out dissing critics who dissed his films — was previously sued for “The Chosen One” by another ?financier.

We’re guessing that since Schneider just had a baby a month ago — little Miranda Scarlett — he has other things on his mind. (We’re also guessing that he won’t have his daughter vaccinated, since he vehemently opposes “forced” vaccinations on children.)

Hut one, hut two, choke

Squeaky-clean Nick Lachey was booted from a San Diego Chargers-Cincinnati Bengals game Sunday for allegedly getting into it with another onlooker.

Shaky video of the event shows an “aggressive” Lachey, according to TMZ, and his accuser says that the ex-boy-band star “choked” him and called his wife a “f***ing b****.”

Lachey’s reps deny most of this, calling what happened a “spirited debate between fans of opposing teams.”

Boys will be boys.

Got scoops or Bay Area celebrity sightings? Email scoop@sfexaminer.com.

Quick Takes

• Taylor Swift and Harry Styles stayed out past 4 a.m. and were seen holding hands. It’s official: They are a couple.
• Jessica Biel says she is going to take some time off from acting, igniting talk of a baby on the way.
• “Seinfeld” beat out “The Honeymooners” as the funniest sitcom ever in a Vanity Fair poll.
• Actor Frankie Muniz, who turns 27 today, suffered a mini-stroke on Friday.
• Shakira is being sued for $100 million by her ex-boyfriend and manager.