Getty Images file photoSplashdown: Jessica Simpson says her water will probably break “like a fire hydrant.”

Getty Images file photoSplashdown: Jessica Simpson says her water will probably break “like a fire hydrant.”

Jessica Simpson gets graphic on pregnancy

Leave it to Jessica Simpson to give us TMI about her pregnancy. Waaay too much, in fact.

“I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-hah,” Jess informed Jimmy Kimmel on his late-night show. “Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it will be like a fire hydrant!” Uh, OK. That’s, er, a beautiful thing.

The singer turned designer is expecting a girl, and she is eager to welcome her into the world.

“At this point, I’m really ready,” Jessica tells People magazine. “I’m not sleeping very well; she moves all the time. I had a great pregnancy, but I’m ready for it to be over!”

So are we — seriously, does it not seem like she’s been pregnant for, like, a year and a half?

Minka Makeout

As recently as New Year’s, Minka Kelly appeared to be rekindling her romance with New York Yankees star Derek Jeter on a romantic Paris vacation. But now the gorgeous model has moved on to a new guy: She was spotted canoodling with Wilmer Valderrama.

This might be the biggest downgrade since George Clooney’s ex Elisabetta Canalis started dating Steve-O from “Jackass”!

Minka and the one-time “That ’70s Show” star were “all over each other” at a private booth at L.A.’s Greystone Manor, a source told People. “They were very flirty and dancing close. They even left with each other.”

Wilmer recently ended a clandestine romance with the much younger Demi Lovato, which reputedly began before she went into rehab for eating and cutting problems.

Seriously, how does the dude formerly known as Fez get these hot — physically and career-wise — women? He’s certainly not in Derek Jeter’s league! It would be like — like — well, like George Clooney’s ex dating a guy from “Jackass.” So, yeah.

Tebow Triangle?

What is it with the “Gossip Girl” cast getting itself into romances that make for much more interesting plots than the show’s? The latest such saga: A rumored love triangle between “Glee’s” blond beauty Dianna Agron, her on-off beau Sebastian Stan and — get this — quarterback Tim Tebow.

“Tim has made no secret that he likes Dianna, and told her so, but she has remained faithful to Sebastian,” a source told Page Six of the famously Christian football star, who was reportedly sighted chatting up the actress at an Oscars party in late February (and ,days later, was sighted dining with equally goody-goody Taylor Swift).

And Dianna is said to have split with actor Sebastian for a second time, after first breaking up in December and restarting the romance in January. The pair live on separate coasts and were allegedly plagued by long-distance-relationship issues.

So, she wants to move on to a guy who’s about to get traded to — pardon the expression — God knows where?

Dianna’s rep maintained that reports of a split with Sebastian are not true.

And yet somewhere, we suspect, Taylor Swift is quietly sobbing. Cheer up, honey, there are so many words that rhyme with “Tim” and “Tebow”!

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