Getty images file photoLord of the ring: Justin Theroux successfully popped the question to ladylove Jennifer Aniston on Friday

Jen engaged, tabloids rejoice

After all these years of bogus tabloid reports, it feels totally bizarro-world to report actual, confirmed

“Justin Theroux had an amazing birthday on Friday, receiving an extraordinary gift when his girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston, accepted his proposal of marriage,” the actor-screenwriter’s rep announced in a statement.

Wow, we never thought this day would come. Well, either Jen has finally found her happily ever after, or this is a sign that the prophesied Mayan apocalypse is indeed at hand. Hey, time will tell, right?

Jennifer Aniston wedding news. But yes, an actual publicist has actually confirmed that she is actually engaged to Justin Theroux, her boyfriend of more than a year. No, seriously, this is confirmed!

Kristen: Stewing

Kristen Stewart is apparently falling apart as she agonizes over the destruction of her relationship with Robert Pattinson — which, if you need a reminder, she caused by cheating on him.

 

“She is a complete mess,” a source told OK! about the “Twilight” star, who is reportedly holed up at her mother’s home and torturing herself by reading vitriolic Internet comments about herself.

“Her stomach is so knotted up that she has no interest in food, and she hasn’t had a full night’s sleep since this nightmare began,” said the insider. Kristen is said to have shriveled to 98 pounds.

Supposedly, per the source, K-Stew “spends her days in a darkened room, poring over love letters Rob wrote her and watching videos they made together.”

Most alarming are hints that Kristen is harboring self-destructive thoughts. She has “said some pretty crazy things lately, like how she’ll die if he doesn’t take her back or how no one would care if she disappeared off the face of the earth,” confided the insider. “It all sounds like a cry for help.”

Or like the words of a celebrity who’s been reading vitriolic Internet comments about herself.

 

 

 

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