Veteran rocker Eddie Money has a corny joke for everything.
Why he gave up drinking through AA: “I was sponsored by David Crosby for awhile, until he pulled me aside and said, ‘You don’t need a sponsor — you need an exorcist!’”
Why he is not as rich as he should be from early hits like “Baby Hold On” and “Two Tickets to Paradise”: “I sold all my publishing to buy a house that my wife threw me out of, not that I didn’t deserve it — I could never imagine being married to me!”
And so on, for a kooky, often-groan-inducing interview.
Money — former New York police Officer Edward Mahoney — is going somewhere with the gags.
He is performing his new “Acoustic Christmas” show in The City this weekend. And he is finishing a new album, with a flagship single — the Greg Strycker-penned tribute to our nation’s military, “One More Soldier Coming Home” — currently available for free on Money’s website.
Then there is his autobiographical play, “Two Tickets to Paradise: The Musical,” which he is hoping to take to Broadway.
But Money has bigger plans.
“Right now I’m in New York again, sleeping in my sister’s basement,” the Bay Area resident says. “My parents passed away, but my other sister’s down the block, so I feel like I’m home.”
It is in these comfortable surroundings that Money is perfecting — no joke — a full standup routine. “Because I want to do comedy now, and I’m going to call myself Eddie Funny,” he says. “And I’ve got a million one-liners.”
Money has been kidding around onstage since he became sober.
“I’ll say to my audience, ‘My probation officer’s coming down tonight, so if anyone can help me out with some clean urine, I’d really appreciate it!’ And then there’s a kick from the snare,” he says.
His fans are rolling with his squirrelly humor, Money says. Just the other night, a girl in the front row was staring up at him with tears in her eyes.
“And I thought she was saying, ‘I love you!’ but she was actually going, ‘You’re standing on my hand!’ True story,” he says. “So now I want to do a full comedy album.”
Money’s 22-year-old daughter, Jesse, is in showbiz as well. She often accompanies him live on “Silent Night” and his classic duet with Ronnie Spector, “Take Me Home Tonight.”
“She’s been bringing me water onstage since she was 6,” Money says. “And once you hear the clapping and you get that response running through your body, it’s like heroin!”
Rim shot, maestro. Try the veal.
IF YOU GO
Where: Rrazz Room, Hotel Nikko, 222 Mason St., San Francisco
When: 7 and 9:30 p.m. Friday-Saturday
Tickets: $45 to $50
Contact: (800) 380-3095, www.therrazzroom.com, www.ticketweb.com