Courtesy FXTwisty the Clown: Not very cuddly.

Don't provoke them: 'American Horror Story' angers clown association

The clowns are crying, and it's not just creepy makeup this time.

Clowns of America International is squeaking a novelty horn in protest over negative depictions of clowns on TV and film, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

The newest offender is TV's “American Horror Story: Freak Show,” starring Jessica Lange and Kathy Bates. Specifically, a white-gloved finger is being pointed at Twisty the Clown, a menacing joker with flayed-skull makeup played by John Carroll Lynch.

“We do not support in any way, shape or form any medium that sensationalizes or adds to coulrophobia or 'clown fear,'” huffed Glenn Kohlberger aka Clyde D. Scope, president of the nation's largest clown organization.

Scary clowns abound in pop culture, like Stephen King's “It,” Insane Clown Posse and serial killer John Wayne Gacy, whose nom de clown was Pogo. Even making balloon animals hasn't softened the image of 6-foot-3 Lynch.

“He would just walk around and hand you a poodle, this really scary-looking guy who is big and quiet. That was freaky to me,” co-star Christopher Neiman told The Hollywood Reporter.

The show has one diehard clown fan: Wasco Clown, a Twitter poster who claims to be behind a series of creepy clown photos snapped in Bakersfield and other Central Valley towns.

“I've never once seen 'Walking Dead,' but I do watch 'American Horror Story!'” he tweeted.

SHOW INSPIRES PEOPLE BURGERS

Human flesh: The other, other white meat.

At least that's what U.K. chef Jim Thomlinson hoped to evoke with his new tribute to AMC's zombie drama, “The Walking Dead”: human-flesh burgers, Food and Wine magazine says.

Since the price of human flesh is through the roof right now (something about corn prices), Thomlinson tried to approximate the flavor using descriptions from the good old days, when men were men and men were also lunch.

Thomlinson, who runs a catering company, settled on a mix of pork, veal and bone marrow. Seasoning is optional, the recipe says: “Salt and pepper to taste, the less seasoning you use the more it tastes like human flesh!!!”

QUICK TAKES

Bruno Mars rocked The City's Civic Center on Tuesday, playing megahits and covers of Bobby Brown and Michael Jackson before a crowd of thousands of beer-drinking, badge-clad attendees of Salesforce.com's huge Dreamforce Gala, a benefit for UC San Francisco Benioff Children's Hospitals. … “The Dark Knight” star Christian Bale is in talks to play Steve Jobs in an upcoming biopic based on Walter Isaacson's best-selling biography of the late Apple co-founder. … HBO is launching a stand-alone Internet streaming service for people who have grown weary of illegally downloading “Game of Thrones.” … Michael B. Jordan, who played Oscar Grant III in “Fruitvale Station,” has been tapped to play Apollo Creed's son in a “Rocky” film.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Singer John Mayer is 37. … Bassist Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 52. … Indian actress Hema Malini (“Dream Girl”) is 66. … Guitarist Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead is 67. … Actress Suzanne Somers (“Three's Company”) is 68. … Actress Angela Lansbury (“Murder, She Wrote”) is 89.

Got scoops or Bay Area celebrity gossip? Email scoop@sfexaminer.com.

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