Britney flashes some cash to settle out of court

Britney Spears has reached an undisclosed settlement with a former bodyguard who accused her of sexual harassment. Brit has officially deep-sixed her two-year feud with Fernando Flores, who accused her of constantly shedding her clothes and dropping objects in his presence, then bending over to pick them up so she could flash her reproductive organs at him.

The bodyguard lucked out with an out-of-court settlement, because to prove sexual harassment you have to be able to show a calculated pattern of abuse. How could Fernando ever prove Britney knew what she was doing? She’s legally conserved, which means she has been deemed so incapacitated that she can’t make her own decisions — you know, like whether or not to wear underwear.

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Silicon Volley

“The Today Show” is in deep doo-doo on the Twitterverse for forgoing the national moment of silence on 9/11 for an interview with reality-bore Kris Jenner. To add insult to injury, Jenner was talking about her boob job during the segment.

“You disgust me,” said one viewer on the TV show’s Facebook page. “Of all days on the planet, you picked 9/11 to get some celebuwhoremom to talk about her boobies and then declare it a ‘PSA’? Seriously? NBC sickens me.” Yes, but we must never forget … the Kardashians.

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