Believe the rumors: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries to split

In an announcement surprising nobody, Kim Kardashian on Monday made public her plans to file for divorce from Kris Humphries — just 72 days after their $10 million circus, er, wedding.

The reality star confirmed the news to Ryan Seacrest, who tweeted, “Yes @kimkardashian is filing for divorce this morning.”

TMZ reported that Kim, 31, will not seek an annulment and plans to cite “irreconcilable differences in her filing.”

According to Us magazine, Kim’s attorney is Laura Wasser, who has represented Britney Spears, Maria Shriver, Angelina Jolie, Ryan Reynolds and Robyn Gibson.

The couple’s main issue: The busy Kim, working on TV shows and other moneymaking ventures, is not pleased with how Kris, unemployed due to the NBA lockout, is partying on her dime.

Kourtney’s turn

Meanwhile, Life&Style reports that Scott Disick is at last preparing to propose to Kim’s sister, Kourtney Kardashian.

Shopping at an NYC jeweler, Scott “chose a 1.5-carat princess-cut diamond ring” for the mother of his son Mason, an insider allegedly told the tabloid.

Although the relationship has had its ups and downs — and Scott has famously clashed with Kourtney’s close-knit family — the pair have evidently gotten to a good place.

“Right now, they’re so in love and so happy with each other and their family that there’s no reason for them not to get married,” a pal of the socialite relayed. “Kourtney has also really come around to the idea of marriage.”

Well, who wouldn’t come around to the idea of marriage if a cable network was likely to pay for the wedding and cut you a nice check to boot?

Soulmate Sighting

Johnny Depp says the moment he laid eyes on French singer-actress Vanessa Paradis, it was love at first sight.

“She was wearing a dress with an exposed back and I saw that back and that neck, and then she turned around and I saw those eyes, and — boom! — my life as a single man was done,” the “Pirates of the Caribbean” star recalled to the BBC.

The fateful encounter took place in 1998 when Johnny was in France filming a movie; a mutual acquaintance introduced them. The couple have never wed, but they have been together since that year and have two children together.

“You have this feeling,” Johnny reminisced. “I can’t really explain what it was, but I had it when I met her. I saw her across a room and thought, ‘What’s happening to me?’”

Ladies, feel free to pause for a moment to imagine he’s talking about you. Just rejoin us whenever you’re done.

Secret Past?

Was “Real Housewife of New Jersey” Jacqueline Laurita once a stripper? According to a new tabloid report, the reality star skipped a recent reunion show because she didn’t want her secret past, ahem, exposed.

“She feared that [former castmate] Danielle Staub would make a surprise appearance and tell all about Jacqueline’s stripping past,” a source allegedly dished to In Touch. “She didn’t want to face the truth.”

“At the time, she was a single mom who needed to dance at a club in order to pay her bills,” explained another alleged insider, who claims now-husband Chris met Jacqueline at the strip joint and rescued her from the seedy scene.

And yet another source claims that Jacqueline “has confirmed her stripper past to multiple friends who are covering up for her — she is telling everyone to deny it!”

Well, this seems unlike Jacqueline. But it would certainly explain why she was ever friends with Danielle in the first place.

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