Broke-Ass Stuart

Until somebody figures out how to fix the way we fund media, it’s up to all of us to ensure it continues to exist. (Courtesy photo)

Journalism dies without financial support

Sometimes, I sit down to write my column knowing exactly what I’m…

Until somebody figures out how to fix the way we fund media, it’s up to all of us to ensure it continues to exist. (Courtesy photo)
The legendary Wild Side West is perhaps the most “Broke-Ass Stuart” bar that ever existed. (Juan Pardo/2014 Special to S.F. Examiner)

Show the locals some love while they’re still around

"You know, I’ve never been to the Silver Crest before,” Kayla told…

The legendary Wild Side West is perhaps the most “Broke-Ass Stuart” bar that ever existed. (Juan Pardo/2014 Special to S.F. Examiner)
An impromptu second line performance breaks out on the sidewalk near diners in North Beach. (Broke-Ass Stuart/Special to S.F. Examiner)

There’s still magic in San Francisco, it’s just harder to find

We were already a few Peronis in when the New Orleans-style brass…

An impromptu second line performance breaks out on the sidewalk near diners in North Beach. (Broke-Ass Stuart/Special to S.F. Examiner)
The ship stage at the center of “Glitter Ranch” played host to all sorts of weird and wondrous things. (Courtesy Ina Marie)

‘Glitter Ranch’ a coming-out party for the Town of Pulga

The sun beat down on us like we were out-of-tune bongos, unaccustomed…

The ship stage at the center of “Glitter Ranch” played host to all sorts of weird and wondrous things. (Courtesy Ina Marie)
Apple employees march down Market Street in the San Francisco Pride parade on Sunday. (Christopher Victorio/Special to S.F. Examiner)

Marching in SF Pride parade is only the first step

"Pride reminds me of the America I want to live in,” I…

Apple employees march down Market Street in the San Francisco Pride parade on Sunday. (Christopher Victorio/Special to S.F. Examiner)
In “Laterland,” there are no mortgages, no white picket fences and no car payments: You do what you want, when you want. (Courtesy photo)

Laterland, where responsibility is tomorrow’s concern

I’m currently sitting in my parents’ kitchen. It’s hot in San Diego.…

In “Laterland,” there are no mortgages, no white picket fences and no car payments: You do what you want, when you want. (Courtesy photo)
In San Francisco, your wallet can jump out of your back pocket and decide to go home with someone else. (Courtesy photo)

San Francisco is a thieving-ass city

San Francisco is a thieving-ass city. It steals hearts. It takes away…

In San Francisco, your wallet can jump out of your back pocket and decide to go home with someone else. (Courtesy photo)
Broke-Ass Stuart and Mohammad, circa 2007. (Courtesy Broke-Ass Stuart)

Misconceptions about Muslims

A decade ago, I moved to Brooklyn. I was there for a…

Broke-Ass Stuart and Mohammad, circa 2007. (Courtesy Broke-Ass Stuart)
Henceforth, Salesforce Tower will be known as “The Butt Plug.” (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)

Salesforce Tower looks like a giant butt plug

As I look out my window, I see it stretching toward the…

Henceforth, Salesforce Tower will be known as “The Butt Plug.” (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)
Even with all the information we have at our fingertips, the world is still a mess. (Courtesy photo)

Make the internet great again

When Julius Caesar took Alexandria in 48 BC, the city’s famous library…

Even with all the information we have at our fingertips, the world is still a mess. (Courtesy photo)
The mechanics of finding a new roommate in San Francisco can be exhausting. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner illustration)

The art of finding a roommate in San Francisco

It’s that time again. The call goes out on Facebook, comments are…

The mechanics of finding a new roommate in San Francisco can be exhausting. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner illustration)
The thesaurus has no words that do justice the beauty of Norway. (Stuart Schuffman/Special to S.F. Examiner)

International travel brings about fresh perspective

I’m looking out my hotel window at an Oslo skyline that is…

The thesaurus has no words that do justice the beauty of Norway. (Stuart Schuffman/Special to S.F. Examiner)
Jeff Kositsky, director of San Francisco’s Department of Homelessness and Supportive Housing, speaks to a crowd at the Mission Cultural Center on Monday night about a proposed Navigation Center at 1515 South Van Ness Ave. (Joe Fitzgerald Rodriguez/S.F. Examiner)

Who’s wearing the ball gag tonight?

The saying goes, “Politics makes strange bedfellows.” But in San Francisco, where…

Jeff Kositsky, director of San Francisco’s Department of Homelessness and Supportive Housing, speaks to a crowd at the Mission Cultural Center on Monday night about a proposed Navigation Center at 1515 South Van Ness Ave. (Joe Fitzgerald Rodriguez/S.F. Examiner)
Our tax dollars are keeping our Tweeter-in-Chief in fake orange tans and golf shoes. (Courtesy photo)

Tax Day a reminder of our inevitable demise

Like the vast majority of you, I paid my taxes earlier this…

Our tax dollars are keeping our Tweeter-in-Chief in fake orange tans and golf shoes. (Courtesy photo)
The requirements for Emotional Support Animals must be revisited to prevent people who are gaming the system from ruining it for those truly in need. (Courtesy photo)

Uncivil disobedience: The fake service dog faux pas

Earlier this week, BrokeAssStuart.com published a debut article — “Enough with the…

The requirements for Emotional Support Animals must be revisited to prevent people who are gaming the system from ruining it for those truly in need. (Courtesy photo)
Next time you see someone leaving their garbage, take a photo of them and put it on the internet. (Peter Lawrence Kane/Special to S.F. Examiner)

Dolores Park bros: Ruiners of many things

Last weekend was gorgeous. The sun was out, the weather was warm…

Next time you see someone leaving their garbage, take a photo of them and put it on the internet. (Peter Lawrence Kane/Special to S.F. Examiner)
It’s hard enough to get clean when you have a home; imagine how difficult it is when you live in a tent. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)

I live at the corner of Needles and Diarrhea

I live at the corner of Needles and Diarrhea. OK, those aren’t…

It’s hard enough to get clean when you have a home; imagine how difficult it is when you live in a tent. (Jessica Christian/S.F. Examiner)
“Other than a few shirtless dudes, everyone was clothed, and the vibe was like 99 percent Burning Man camp and only 1 percent sex dungeon.” (Courtesy photo)

Shibari and tea

“Hmmm ... I guess you can tie me up,” I told Tim.…

“Other than a few shirtless dudes, everyone was clothed, and the vibe was like 99 percent Burning Man camp and only 1 percent sex dungeon.” (Courtesy photo)
The Hubba Hubba Revue performs its bizarre burlesque shows every Monday night upstairs at the DNA Lounge. (Courtesy Neil Motteram/DNA Lounge)

San Francisco’s famous weirdness isn’t dead

I’m pretty vanilla. I mean, not for the mainstream, but by San…

The Hubba Hubba Revue performs its bizarre burlesque shows every Monday night upstairs at the DNA Lounge. (Courtesy Neil Motteram/DNA Lounge)
Trudging home hungover is the price paid for getting laid. (Courtesy photo)

Forget the Walk of Shame, take a Stride of Pride

I’ve never quite understood why it’s called the “Walk of Shame.” I…

Trudging home hungover is the price paid for getting laid. (Courtesy photo)