The tale of an incognito rec league ringer

Everybody deals with retirement differently.

Some tend to their gardens; others find new ways to channel their residual passions.

Take Walter Thurmond III, for example.

The former NFL cornerback played for the Philadelphia Eagles last season but has reportedly decided to end his pro football career.

Now, he prefers to spend his time crushing taters in rec softball.

He joined a team in Philly under the alias “Dick Mahoney,” according to a reader email sent to Crossing Board.

As the story goes, Thurmond wore a jheri curl wig, didn’t socialize with his teammates and had to leave the team before the end of the season to move back to Los Angeles — Thurmond’s hometown.

His girlfriend also seemingly acknowledged the ruse in an Instagram post.

The former pro athlete didn’t disappoint on the field. The legendary Dick Mahoney hit seven home runs in two games.

If anyone sees former 49ers offensive lineman Anthony Davis hitting bombs under a false name in a softball league around the Bay Area, please notify the Examiner as soon as it is safe to do so.

Thank you for your attention to this matter of crucial importance.

Ice hockey in the desert

The NHL has approved Las Vegas for a new franchise.

This is a terrible idea.

Vegas is many things; a sports town it is not. And if it was, it assuredly would not be a city that fits the profiles of the great hockey towns in the world, most of which are in cold climates with minimal entertainment options.

Some possible team names:

— Las Vegas Buffets

— Sin City Nightwalkers

— Nevada Wasted Resources

Jacob C. Palmer
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Jacob C. Palmer

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