Scoop: Johnny's girlfriend afraid of Angelina 

The tabloids are already predicting that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp will have an affair on the set of their new film — and apparently, so is his girlfriend. In fact, the actor’s longtime love, Vanessa Paradis, has reportedly ordered him to pull out of the project.

Though Johnny has been spotted shooting “The Tourist” with Angie in Venice, he’ll be replaced in the role if his baby mama has her way. When Vanessa “found out that there was a real long and intense love scene between [Depp] and Jolie,” she freaked, an insider told the New York Post.

“He’s currently trying to [get out of the movie], but I don’t know if he’s succeeded,” the source said. “But he’s trying and they’re talking about replacing him with Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio.” The former, duh, is Angie’s main squeeze.

Like Brangelina, Johnny and Vanessa (Johnessa?) aren’t married, but they do have two children and have spent 12 years together. Think their relationship will go the way of Brad’s marriage to Jennifer Aniston?

Heidi: Baby time?

This just in from the Bureau of the Mind-Numbingly Obvious: Heidi Montag’s evident plastic surgery addiction is really just an addiction to media attention, per her loved ones. But here’s some actual news: The “reality” “star” is so desperate to see her celebrity status grow that she wants to have a baby just for the media coverage.

Though hubby Spencer Pratt has proclaimed publicly that he’s not ready to be a dad, in private he and his “Hills” honey are allegedly trying to conceive. “Heidi wants to have a baby. She also knows it will probably generate a lot of attention,” a friend said. “It seems like she’ll do anything to stay relevant.”

Wait — when was she ever “relevant” in the first place?

Gaga: Home wrecker?

Lady Gaga claims she’s celibate, but recently she’s been spotted smooching former beau Matt Williams — and holding his infant son. And, according to a British report, the pop star broke up his relationship with the boy’s mother to get back with her ex.

According to the U.K.’s News of the World, designer Erin Hirsh was shocked to see photos of the man who had broken up with her only weeks before, canoodling with La Gaga.

“There were words between her and Matthew, but he’s absolutely not apologized,” a source told the paper. “He’s so caught up on the magic ride of fame with Gaga he thinks he’s done nothing wrong.”

The fame monster, indeed.

Elin: Home Front

Elin Nordegren reportedly agreed to move back in with Tiger Woods — but they’ll be husband and wife in name only.

“I call them the divorced married couple,” a source told People magazine. “Elin knows Tiger has issues and is afraid to go near him romantically. Because of the children and his need to return to golf, she will try to live in the house with a wall between them.”

With the disgraced golf great’s rep — and earning potential — suffering after the revelations of his myriad affairs, the pressure is on Elin to help restore “the world’s perception of them as the perfect family,” another source said.

We’ve heard of plenty of couples who just stay together for the sake of the kids. But in this case, it kind of sounds like they’re just staying together for the sake of the endorsement deals.

Kitty Raymond is an entertainment writer and astrologer. She welcomes feedback at kitty@media-darling.com.

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Kitty Raymond

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