Giants April Fool’s trick on the Dodgers 

click to enlarge The Dodgers can blow all the cash they want, but they can’t buy the chemistry that Buster Posey and the rest of the Giants have. Opening Day on April Fool’s Day might be the perfect opportunity for the Giants to prove it. - GETTY IMAGES FILE PHOTO
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  • The Dodgers can blow all the cash they want, but they can’t buy the chemistry that Buster Posey and the rest of the Giants have. Opening Day on April Fool’s Day might be the perfect opportunity for the Giants to prove it.

It’s getting increasingly difficult to get people to bite on April Fool’s pranks, isn’t it? If you don’t pick someone off very early in the morning, before they’ve gotten their wits — dim or otherwise — about them, good luck to you. It probably ain’t gonna happen.

More than likely, it’s a mere reflection of these media-saturated times; everything is viewed with suspicion, with borderline disdain, so everybody’s always “on guard.”

But that doesn’t mean the Giants shouldn’t try, and Opening Day at the home of the fabulously wealthy Los Angeles Dodgers seems like an opportune time to take a shot.

So here’s one man’s approval of a rat-a-tat-tat assault on the La-La’s fiduciary senses via news release, a steady stream of official dispatches from the front office in the hours before Clayton Kershaw throws the first pitch of his duel with Matt Cain.

  • Release No. 1: The Giants have signed catcher Buster Posey to a 10-year, $300-million deal.
  • Release No. 2: The Giants have agreed to terms with Hunter Pence at four years, $50 million.
  • Release No. 3: Brian Wilson has been medically cleared, recently lit up a radar gun in Scottsdale, Ariz., to the tune of 96 mph, and has signed a two-year, $30 million deal.
  • Release No. 4: The Giants have acquired outfielder Chris Young from the Oakland A’s in exchange for three minor-league pitchers and cash considerations. Young will start Monday in left field.
  • Release No. 5: The Giants have extended Barry Zito’s deal for another three years at $20 mil per.

OK, maybe No. 5 is pushing it. But what the hell. Go big or go to bed with Melissa McCarthy. Same difference.

The rub is that after the geniuses at Chavez Ravine — temporarily stopped from throwing loot around like Chris Brown at a strip club — have figured out the Giants have dropped more than $400 million in a day, they just might be dumb enough to need to read Release No. 6 to figure it all out: “April Fool’s!”

Of course, the joke is already on the clowns in SoCal. Chemistry can be bought for labs, where real scientists work, but it can’t be bought in baseball, and lack of chemistry will be the Dodgers’ undoing.

Anyone out there watch “American Idol”? On Wednesday, the three remaining boys, all very gifted, sang a song together, were brutal, and immediately started pointing fingers at each other.

It was no joke, yet it was. And not coincidentally, it was all filmed in Los Angeles.

Get used to it.

DETHRONING THE KING: The A’s take on King Felix of the Mariners on Monday, and don’t be surprised if they handle Seattle’s man-child. They’ve had decent success against him at times in the past, and you just know they’re dying to make a strong early impression on everyone calling 2012 a fluke.

Does it really matter what happens for either team Monday? No. There still will be 161 games remaining for both Bay Area squads. What matters is that after what seems like the longest spring training in memory, meaningful baseball is back, and not a second too soon.

And place an emphasis on meaningful there. We’ve got two legitimate title contenders in our own backyard again, and that’s no April Fool’s.

Mychael Urban has covered Bay Area sports for more than 22 years as a contributor to Comcast SportsNet, CSNBayArea.com, KNBR, MLB.com, ESPN The Magazine and various newspapers. Follow him on Twitter @BigUrbSports. His website is UrbsUnchained.com.

About The Author

Mychael Urban

Mychael Urban

Bio:
Mychael Urban has covered Bay Area sports for more than 22 years as a contributor to Comcast SportsNet, CSNBayArea.com, KNBR, MLB.com, ESPN The Magazine and various newspapers.
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