Worst ideas of the week: Nov. 30, 2008

A dead body is a death

1. San Francisco unable to provide reliable death numbers

The details: It’s bad enough that The City, during a time of high homicide counts, is not counting “undetermined deaths” and a killing on federal land at Ocean Beach in its total. But the inability of San Francisco bureaucracy to provide raw data on people who have died or been killed here in the last year is undefendable. When The Examiner attempted to do a true accounting of the homicides in our fair city, a records request for deaths in the 2007-08 fiscal year, which ended in June, was denied.

Don’t throw away the key

2. Siblings allegedly put their disabled sister in a shed

The details: In one of the most shocking episodes in recent Bay Area history, a brother and sister are accused of housing their sister, who has the emotional development of a 5- to 8-year-old, in a filthy, metal garden-type shed behind their three-bedroom home in unincorporated Redwood City. While the suspects contend their sister stayed in the shed on her own free will, the police say they were cashing her social security checks to keep up their standard of living while treating her worse than their seven pit bulls (all of whom lived in the house).

Imbalance

3. Sean Hannity is losing Alan Colmes, his liberal half

The details: Alan Colmes of the Fox News Network’s “Hannity & Colmes” announced this week that he’ll be leaving the prime-time show after 12 years. He’ll continue as a commentator on Fox programs, keep doing his radio show and is developing a weekend show at Fox, which is popular with conservatives.  With one and not the other, how will Fox say it’s fair and balanced?

Let the big man win!

4. Former Raider comes up short

The details: There has been no funnier sight on television for the last few months than ex-Raiders offensive lineman Warren Sapp, he of the never-ending smile and the never-ending gut, tripping the light fantastic on the reality series “Dancing With the Stars.” Sapp made it to the final two and was barely outdone by model-actress Brooke Burke, a horrible choice by judges and voting fans. In our book, this whale of a man who bravely leapt into the air during uptempo tangos deserved the mirror-ball trophy.

Penny pinching

5. Filmmakers shortchanged by city’s rebate program

The details: Producers of the two biggest movies shot in San Francisco this year were shortchanged thousands of dollars in film rebates initially offered under a city program intended to revitalize the fizzled industry. For a city hoping to attract filmmakers amid an increasingly competitive market, a lesser-than-expected rebate likely will not help woo more producers.

Brash statements

6. Singletary again draws headlines with his mouth

The details: Most interim coaches without previous experience rarely make waves. Not Mike Singletary. It seems like each week, the 49ers’ interim coach has done something that makes you think either “this guy’s gonna be brilliant” or “he’s totally overmatched.” This week, the Hall of Fame linebacker ripped his defense — and high-priced cornerback Nate Clements in particular — after Terrell Owens ripped his former team for 213 yards on just seven catches in the Dallas Cowboys’ 35-22 victory. Maybe the team needs a slap in the face, but doing it in public is always dangerous.

He’s no Stevie Wonder

7. Kanye West turns away from rapping on new album

The details: Kanye West became an international sensation with his catchy rap songs that stress production and sing-songy lyrics. But sing-songy lyrics do not a singer make. On his new album, “808s and Heartbreak,” West turns to Auto-Tune — pitch-correction software that has become popular in hip-hop thanks to Florida’s T-Pain — to help him put out an album that sounds like, well, a poor singer turning to vocal tricks to hide his failings. Just as it would be to Bruce Springsteen if he started freestyling in the South Bronx, our advice for Kanye is to stick with what you know.

Welcome to the bungle

8. Dr. Pepper doesn’t live up to its offer

The details: After Guns N’ Roses released the hit “Use Your Illusion” albums, they started work on their next, “Chinese Democracy.” That was 1994. In 2008, Dr. Pepper announced that if the album, hamstrung by frontman Axl Rose’s diva behavior, was released by the end of the year, they would give a free soda to everyone in America. Well, the album was released this week, so the soft-drink company welcomed anyone to visit its Web site and print out a coupon for a free Dr. Pepper. Unfortunately, the Web site crashed, and now Guns N’ Roses is threatening a lawsuit.

Whistle blew it

9. Wells Fargo ordered to pay whistleblower

The details: San Francisco-based Wells Fargo & Co. was ordered to pay back wages and lost bonuses, with interest, and $25,000 in reputational damages to an employee who was wrongfully transferred after he questioned the legality of a co-worker’s sales activities. Department of Labor officials say alerted management that a co-worker violated Securities and Exchange Commission rules by recommending unsuitable investments to customers and encouraging them to purchase securities held by a separate company.

Spam-a-lot

10. Facebook wins $873M judgment from spammer

The details: Within a period of one month, Adam Guerbuez sent more than 4 million spam messages — marketing products including marijuana and male enhancement pills — to Facebook users. The social-networking site went after him and was awarded an $873 million judgement — which works out to about $218 per spam message.  Now, if only the spam recipients could get their hands on that cash

Dim bulb of the week

Lori Drew

Who: The 49-year-old mother from Missouri was convicted on just three misdemeanor computer crimes in Los Angeles this week for helping to set up a fake MySpace account to lure her daughter’s friend into a fake relationship, a cruel joke that ended with the target committing suicide.

What: This supposedly grown-up woman’s actions can not be tolerated, and the jury had a chance to put forth a real statement about cyber-bullying and its horrible consequences. Instead, they put forth a judgment that basically puts the onus on social-networking Web sites to police their customers’ activities instead of holding people responsible for their own actions. Hopefully, this woman was made enough of an example of through the unusual prosecution in L.A. (home to MySpace) that others will think twice about committing a similar heinous act.

Sinking ship

The post-Thanksgiving shopping rush was fatal at a Wal-Mart in New York. Nearly 2,000 eager shoppers were gathered outside the store in Nassau, police said. The crowd apparently knocked a Wal-Mart employee to the ground as he opened the doors. The crowd tramped over him, even as other store workers rushed to his aid. A 28-year-old pregnant woman and three others were also taken to the hospital for minor injuries.