New couple alert! Snarky TV host Chelsea Handler and rapper-actor-entrepreneur 50 Cent were spotted getting cozy with each other at New Orleans' Blue Nile jazz bar recently. TMZ obtained a photo of the pair at the club-sitting so close you couldn't insert a Post-It Note between them-and reports that an onlooker avows they were getting "hot and heavy."
Though you may not have seen this romance coming, Fiddy's evidently been wooing the "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang" author for a while: He reportedly sent flowers and left the caustic comedienne a flirty message after his spot on her E! show, and has called her "beautiful" via Twitter, that most soul-baring of celebrity mediums.
If a sense of humor is really what people look for in a partner, these two could go the distance. We can just imagine their idea of sweet nothings: 50 Cent tells Chelsea he loves her like a fat kid loves cake, and she tells him she loves him almost as much as vodka.
Well, knock us over with a feather: Lindsay Lohan wants to make a profit off her stay in rehab. The camera-craving starlet reportedly plans to stage a photo shoot depicting her experience in treatment at the Betty Ford clinic.
"Lindsay hasn't worked in so long that the only way she makes money now is from selling photographs," a pal confided to Popeater. "She can make an easy $30,000 to $40,000 a pop for a few hours' work. However, pictures of her in rehab getting better could sell for as much as $100,000."
"Nothing with Lindsay surprises me anyone," a tabloid editor reportedly sniffed. "You would think she would be focusing on dealing with her addictions not staying photo shoots. But this is who this girl is. She never thinks about the long-term solution but rather is always looking for the quick fix."
That said, since she's a tabloid fixture whether she likes it or not, we can hardly blame LiLo for wanting to cash in. What really scares us is that it might occur to her that photos of a post-rehab relapse would fetch an even higher fee.
We know you've been crying yourself to sleep every night, wondering why John Mayer has forsaken Twitter and why your life has been so hollow ever since.
Well, we can't help you fill that yawning void, but at least the singer-songwriter has explained why he went AWOL from the microblogging service.
"It occurred to me that since the invocation of Twitter, nobody who has participated in it has created any lasting art. And yes! Yours truly is included in that roundup as well," John pontificates on his blog. "No artwork created by someone with a healthy grasp of social media thus far has proven to be anything other than disposable."
"When you convert your art into the art of real-time brand management, I suddenly have no more interest in it," the musician added. "I'm not a brand, and I don't refer to myself in the third person. I'm a dude who plays guitar and writes songs."
True, he doesn't refer to himself in the third person…but he sure talks about himself in the first person enough to make up for it.
Kitty Raymond is an entertainment writer and astrologer. She welcomes feedback at email@example.com.