It’s probably a good time to add Charlie Sheen to your Twitter feed if you haven’t already, because he’s about due for a meltdown.

According to TMZ, he’s been seeing porn actress Georgia Jones since October, and she has moved into his mansion.
“I was a big fan before we met,” Charlie told TMZ, “and now I’m an even bigger one … nose to toes, she’s as ‘top shelf’ as they get.”

He must be referring to her bravura performances in “Cheer Squad Sleepovers 2,” or perhaps “Hot Girls Trapped and Wrapped.”

The pair spent New Year’s down in Cabo, where Sheen also claims he partied with Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who, he says, “can drink with the best of ’em.”

The mayor denies that he guzzled with the warlock, claiming that all he did was pose for a photograph with Sheen for about three minutes. Close enough.