Conrad Murray trashes jail doctors

Dr. Conrad Murray, the man who killed Michael Jackson, is apparently bummed about the medical attention he’s getting in jail. He claims he’s been the victim of shoulder pain, violent diarrhea, and a strange numbness and swelling in his leg, which he feared was a blood clot.

Though doctors determined it wasn’t serious, Murray is miffed that they told him to treat the ailment by staying active, which he rightly claims is “impossible in a 5-foot-by-7-foot cell.”

TMZ obtained a copy of a jailhouse phone call to a friend, in which Murray draws a line in the reinforced concrete:

“I don’t want to be permanently hurt by any condition in here … because if I am, I will not let it rest.”

Oh yes. He can lay MJ to rest, but his A-1 treatment in prison is paramount.

Hypocratic oath

U.S. Rep. Scott DesJarlais (R-Tenn.)  has been a bad boy.

According to The Associated Press, the tea party patriot and medical doctor knocked up his mistress while he was married 10 years ago, and strongly urged her to get an abortion to cover it up.

This is not only problematic for the adultery angle, but also because DeJarlais claims to be fiercely anti-abortion.

“All life should be cherished and protected,” his website declares.

The Huffington Post has a transcript of the taped conversation between DesJarlais and his chippy: “You told me you’d have an abortion, and now we’re getting too far along without one.” Oh yeah? She retorts, “Well, it’s your fault for sleeping with your patient.”

Oops, did we forget to mention that part, too? Yeah.

The sad part is that he will probably still beat his Democratic challenger in that state.

Won’t anyone think of the children?

After an exhaustive study, Fox News has determined that exposing young women to reality TV’s violent catfights, unrealistic body images, wanton “no-strings” pre-marital sex, excessive drinking and rampant narcissism can be harmful to their young minds.

“These shows glamorize the backbiting, gossiping, criticizing and competing with each other through beautiful hair, makeup and clothes,” L.A. therapist Nancy Irwin told Fox. Sounds about right. So, what’s the problem again?

Got scoops or Bay Area celebrity sightings? Email scoop@sfexaminer.com

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